Moving On (Skate/a little Shayid/possibly other)

Title; Moving On
Author;Cayenne A.K.A. 4259 A.K.A. Fridaythe13th
Pairing; Skate/Shayid/Hubby/PB&J(minimal if at all of last three)
Status;Work In Progress (am, at time of post, 10 and 1/2 chapters into it.)
Rating;PG for swear words - aside from that a CLEAN SKATE FAN-FIC
Warnings;The H word, D word, S word and both B names and the A word and name will most likely be used. Nothing worse.
Disclaimer; I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show “LOST”. They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC.
Author's Note;This is my first attempt at a fan-fic, and I’m only eleven, so be nice! :boogie: And endless thanks to Sherrandy for editing and convincing me to post this here along with, once Sherrandy and I went seperate ways, with Jen taking her place and putting up with her buttload of work! God bless, and, as I finally have a semi-set up plot to it, please enjoy 'Moving On.' Started at the time of Season Two's 'Dave' so that's where the spoilers will end unless - for some reason - I choose to weave the plot of what's going on in the show into my fan-fic, which I very may well do. Be wary. And, the further we get into the story, the longer the chapters get. Until I run out of pre-made chapters, every time at least FIVE people comment on my chapter, I will post another chapter. Because that's just how evil I am.
Here goes!

Chapter 1




For once everything was peaceful.

The sun slanted through the flaps of the tent, warming his bare chest as Sawyer dozed in his airplane seat. The crash of the waves - and the two sleeping pills he’d taken not long before - had lulled him into a sort of conscious doze - aware of the goings on around him, but with no desire to participate.

Of course, this was the only kind of sleep he got anymore, the dull throb and the occasional bleeding of his shoulder diminishing slightly, half of him still awake and alert. The whole thing usually left him uncomfortably groggy all day, much to everyone else’s self-satisfied pleasure when he’d nearly walked into a tree trunk.

And it always seemed, just as he was about to really fall asleep, Kate would show up to change his bandage, (which he had to admit, he didn’t mind too much and he was slightly pleased by the frequency of,) or someone else would rear their ugly head and - A surprisingly girlish shriek echoed from the blue tent. “GEOOOFFFFF ME, YOU GODDAMN FIDO!” Sawyer roared, half rolling half jumping from the chair, groaning at the ache Vincent plopping heavily yet happily onto his chest had reawakened. “I swear, Lassie,” Sawyer started in, busily trying to shoo the overjoyed Vincent out of his tent, “next time you ‘n’ I can make this a fair fight, hell, I’ll even get down on my hands ‘n’ knees, I’m gonna rip that doggy little tail off your doggy little butt and beat ya with it.” Vincent snorted at that, and with a sort of ‘well-we’ll-see-about-that’ look, trotted snottily from Sawyer’s view.

“Well I’ll be damned,” Sawyer continued, grumbling to himself out of habit as he gingerly lowered himself back onto the seat, “that damn dog just don’t know when to leave people alone. If I could get rid of that goddamn dog without havin’ Michael at my throat ‘n...” He trailed off as he got comfortable, stretching out his legs immersed in jeans, and placing the heels on the opposite armrest. His blue eyes had just flickered close when a cheerful voice rang out startlingly close to his ear. “Hey Ego, time to replace the band-aid on your boo-boo.” Growling softly, he sat up, turning his head to glare at Kate’s form, outlined in sunlight, standing in the make-shift doorway. Cocking his head, he flashed her a dimpled grin, drinking in the view. “Well, hey, Freckles. That’s startin’ to become a pretty old excuse for you to hustle your cute little butt down here!”

Kate rolled her eyes and plopped heavily down beside him, brandishing a roll of gauze and folding her knees beneath her. “Were you born obnoxious, or do you have to work at it?” She mumbled, over-focusing on her work as she always tended to do with her one-track mind.

“Well, darlin’, now that you ask I do believe it was a God givin’ blessin’.” He turned to ‘dimple’ at her, although she didn’t notice as she gingerly pulled off the gauze, causing Sawyer to hiss through his teeth.

“I’m not the first one to give you a warning, Sawyer,” Kate said slowly, spacing out the words as she started to re-bandage his shoulder, as he stared at her, “But Jose and Locke are on a warpath today. And you always manage to bring out the worst in them, so I’d keep away.”

Sawyer laughed aloud at this news, although he was slightly touched Kate had bothered to tell him, then confused when she stopped her work long enough to shoot him an amused glance. “Jacko and Mr.Clean got their panties in a wad?” Sawyer didn’t bother to disguise his glance down to Kate’s waist, and she let out a disgusted sigh. “‘Course there’s some others, no pun intended, I’d rather see wrapped up in their panties, but hell, they’ll do.”

Kate didn’t even bother to reply to his remark, she simply and pointedly was a bit rougher with his shoulder, causing him to shy away.

**********

“Locke!” Jose barked angrily at the chuckling John, leaning casually on the bunkers, crutches resting neatly on the bed beside him. “This is not funny! This is not our destiny, Locke. Our destiny is not to sit around and wait for our destiny to show up!” The Doctor spat out the word with barely contained rage, adding more venom particularly to the ‘not’. “Our destiny is to figure out what this note means, and what happened to this thing!!”

“Jose,” Locke spoke calmly, smiling serenely, then chuckling as he realized he had been about to tell Jose ‘It was their destiny’. He probably wouldn’t have liked that. “It /is/ our destiny to figure out what this note means,” here, Jose broke his glare at Locke to shoot a disgruntled look at the coded note, and clearing his throat, Locke continued, “And why it was coded in the first place. Maybe we should call a meeting out on the beach if anyone knows of any possible codes that could have been used.”

“Are you sure you want the rest to know about this? Accusations will start flying around, and brawls will break out and who knows what. Besides, a lot of the rest don’t even know about the first two! We’re in way to deep to start bringing it all up now.” Jose paced over to the kitchen sink angrily downing a bottle of water before returning to stand in front of Locke, who spoke again in that agitating calm way of his.

“Accusations have already started to fly around.” Locke said pointedly, still smiling.

Jose groaned, having worked himself into a tizzy, and plopped into a chair across from the bunk. “What do you suggest we do then, Locke?” As soon Jose said it, he regretted it and quickly left the bunker not stopping to hear Locke’s call after him. “We wait, Jose!”

**********

The splash of the water against the rocks soothed her, as she leaned over curly brown hair pulled straight from the constant weight of the water crashing down onto it.

Sure, there were hot showers and shampoo waiting to be used back in the hatch, and while Kate did often take advantage of those creature comforts, she did occasionally retreat back to the constancy of the miniature waterfall in the deserted caves from which they had first gotten their water.

The constancy of the little waterfall, Kate supposed, was what really got her. Nothing else on this island seemed predictable, including the people, although whether or not they were like that before the crash, she did not know. But this tiny little waterfall always seemed to be there. No matter what happened - no matter who died, who got shot, who was pregnant, who betrayed her - the waterfall was always there. And absurd as it seemed, a small part of her heart, locked deep inside depended on it. It was as though if the water stopped falling, Kate would cease to exist, and the weirdness of the whole thing would take over. She had never had constancy before, except in Tom’s small model plane, and even that was taken from her before the crash. So, she’d had to substitute, and as much as it surprised her, and although she didn’t know it, Tom’s airplane was becoming more like a teddy bear to her, a sort of comfort object, rather then something her entire universe revolved around as it had been doing for so long.

Working her fingers through her hair, she backed out of the water and dried it out over her shoulder, careful not to dampen her attire, a pet peeve of hers.

And here, she could be alone. Alone was something she’d gotten used to, in her years running, and cabin fever was nearly always about to take over on the little island. Someone always seemed to be in her face, talking to her, telling her something, smiling at her. She just wanted to get away and think. God knows there was plenty to think about on this goddamn island.

And that was how Sayid found her. A sad, concentrated look on her face, strong body bent over slightly as she dried her hair, squeezing and wringing. Suddenly, absurd as it seemed, he saw Shannon there. He cocked his head, eyes widening like a little boy seeing all the presents under the tree on Christmas morning.

Shannon was there, washing her hair, that silly little half smile and concentrated face. Shannon jumped, startled, then turned to smile at him, slightly confused, and he grinned back.

“Oh, I’m sorry Sayid, you scared me. I never expect anyone to be here anymore.”

The illusion was gone, and Sayid visibly drooped, disappointed as Kate spoke to him. For just a second he’d really believed everything would be the same. He’d finally be able to be there, to touch Shannon again, and to give up his hatred for Ana-Lucia that was weighing him down. But Shannon was dead, and dropping the grudge would be betraying her. He’d promised her, right before he died that he’d love her, and he’d never do anything to prove differently. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Sayid said softly, trying to sort out his now muddled thoughts.

Kate opened her mouth to ask why he was here, but Sayid visibly tensed as though knowing what she was going to ask, and she didn’t press the matter, and was relieved when he provided a suitable excuse. “Jose and Locke found a note in the hot air balloon we found with all the food in it, you know? They told me to come find you.”

That was a lie, of course. They’d told him, merely because he was one of the more ‘trusted’ of the Lost-Aways, (something else for him to think about,) although he didn’t suppose they’d mind if they told Kate. Sure, she had her faults, but he certainly trusted her. He just hoped the whole story added up. He just wanted to get away from Kate, away from the island, and go sit at Shannon’s grave.

“Really? Okay, thanks Sayid, I’ll go talk to them.” Kate smiled at him, and thankfully Sayid turned and left.

Kate sighed, letting her now nearly dry hair rest on her shoulder, and headed for the hatch.

**********

Holy moly girl. You are eleven? I love this fic. It has some beautiful imagery and pathos. Great humour with opening with Vincent, and the way you capture Sawyer's voice. The waterfall moment for Kate, Sayid's mistake are just...very nicely drawn emotional resonance. Keep it up! I can't wait to read the next chapter.

Why thank you so much!
Being the genereous (impaitent) soul I am, I've decided that I will post the next chapter
A)when I'm finishing the chapter I'm working on then, (currently 11)
or
B)when five people post.
Yadayadayadayad.

You are only 11?

This was great! :flowers:

I'm going to being leaving tomorrow, early until, I believe, the 19th. I may have access to my computer, but not to the story, so, in the meantime, I will post the next two chapters. To warn you, they haven't been edited. Here they are!

Chapter 2

Hurley sighed, leaning back in his chair, watching the chaos around him. The island’s most trusted (and useful) occupants were crammed into the hatch, all moving, all shouting, all arguing.

Jack, Locke and Sayid, were standing facing each other off in a triangle shape, (none of which Hurley was surprised to see there). Ana-Lucia and Libby were waving fingers in each others faces in a particularly animated argument, while Mr.Eko smiled serenely at them from his position leaning against the wall. While those three being there were none to surprising, Hurley was making an effort to ignore Libby, for the long, frightening yet knowing glances she was shooting at him, and was therefore all Hurley could think about. Jin was pacing back and forth near Eko, shooting daggers into the crowd and watching his wife like a hawk, while she tried to figure out what was going on, and translate for him at the same time.

A scared little smile flickered onto Hurley’s face. Out of the nine of the there, he and Mr.Eko, who had now, creepily, switched his all-knowing stare to Hugo himself, seemed to be the only one’s keeping their heads.

“There’s no point to this fighting!” Hurley heard Sun yell frantically, watching in interest as Jin tensed, before drooping back into his regular sullen stature.

“Sun’s right,” yelled a voice Hurley couldn’t identify, “we need to get under control, and discuss this like civilized people!”


No one heeded the call, instead just kept on arguing. They weren’t, Hurley observed quietly, paying any attention to anything. Hurley’s mind drifted to food. Sitting still for a few more moments, glancing around secretively, Hurley finally groaned, rose, and stole away in search of more Goldfish Crackers.

**********

Kate lightly pulled the door to the hatch open, stepping forward, brow furrowed at the confusion she was faced with, shocking after the calm of the caves.

The whole scene was a mess of movement, and words, and it took Kate a while to even tell who was there. Spotting Mr.Eko standing in a corner, smiling and nodding at everyone, including her, (he appeared to be the only one to be aware of her arrival,) she growled under her breath. Before she could stop herself, she hissed softly, “Of course he doesn’t care. It’s our destiny.” Realizing what she said, she stopped and shook her head. She was becoming as bad as Jack.

Kate cleared her throat in an attempt to get their attention. Everyone ignored both her arrival, and her existence. Quickly stepping up onto a chair, she clapped her hands feebly, and was awarded with Libby’s startled attention. Encouraged, she yelled wordlessly, and was unreasonably pleased when all heads turned to her.

“Listen up,” Kate said quickly, as though afraid if she waited to long they’d get bored. “I don’t know what exactly’s going on, and why you’re all arguing, but I think we need to calm down. Could someone explain this to me, and maybe we could get this whole thing sorted out?”

Locke hobbled forward via crutches eagerly. “I found a note in the wreckage of the second hot air balloon. It’s coded.” Leaning on one of his crutches, and shooing away the help Sun offered him, he held up the note with one hand. Stepping down from the chair to take it from him, Kate shook her head, confused. The note was hand written, scrawled in numbers. The only part of the note with actual letters in it was ‘reel’ used twice. And then, at the very bottom, was the Dharma signal, and below that, _ numbers which Kate took to mean Dharma.

Locke continued, as Kate studied the note, finding herself surrounded by the other eight people in the hatch. “Although most of you don’t know this, there have been two other reels, both about Dharma, and both we will all see before we try and decode this note. Jack, do you know where we left the last two reels?”

Jack nodded, disgruntled that he was acting as a sort of lackey to Locke, but went to grab them. “Now, if you’ll all head into the room.....” Locke paused, shivering. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was go into that room again. But, if the same were to happen, he’d wait until something other than a flimsy tool box were supporting the door. He laughed coldly, awarded with a strange look from Ana-Lucia, before heading hurriedly, taking care to go faster through the doorjambs, into the room.

As Mr.Eko set up the projector and Jack set in the reel, Ana-Lucia sat down, looking at the whole procession with distaste. She’d been distracted from her boar-hunting for this?

Boar-hunting, what a joke. The whole theory that there were all that many boar had been disproved since Boone died - (Hurley had always been quick to explain anything to anyone,) so she wasn’t surprised at the amused looks she was given when she announced that was what she was going to do. But, as usual, Ana didn’t care and trudged off into the jungle, sneaking around, knife bared, and thinking.

Ana’s thoughts were quickly silenced, though, as the projector flickered alive, and Dr.Marvin Candell started the speech again that he had said so many times.

The group had stared in silence at the screen for long after it ended, and it was Jin who finally rose to his feet and ominously clicked it off.

“Dude.... Were the polar bears, like..... A sign or something?” All turned towards the doorway, were Hurley stood, leaning against the threshold and looking in at the group. “What?” and then, realizing why they were staring, he attempted lamely, “I’ve been here the whole time, I just like to stand!”

Rolling her eyes slightly, and then smiling, Libby stood, breathing a sigh of... relief. “Can we get to work on that note, now?”

**********

They had worked for hours, three 108 minute rotations, Hurley had pointed out, and had ended up with a decoded note, and a very complicated number system with which to decode the message. First, they took the _ numbers below the Dharma signal, which they assumed to be ‘Dharma’. If you were using a simple number system, the word ‘Dharma’ would be represented by “48118131" 8 numbers, contrary to the actual _ numbers below the sign.

However, Locke insisted that he was sure it said ‘Dharma’ and so, after puzzling on it for a while, Libby proposed that maybe it would all have something to do with the numbers that had become so important, 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42. Hurley groaned.

And so, after much thought and effort, they came across this, discovered by who else than Sayid. “The first letter or ‘Dharma’ is, in a simple numbered code is ‘4.’” Sayid proposed. “So if you take the numbers and go for four numbers, you get 16.” Pointing down at the note, that was in fact the first number of the _ numbered sign off at the bottom. “Then the next letter is ‘H’. ‘H’ is the eighth letter in the alphabet, so, we get, 8.” Again, the numbers matched up.

After another hour of checking, and double checking, they decoded the note, and in a shaky voice, Jack read it aloud. “There is a reel included in the hot air balloon is meant for only eleven of you to see. We know which eleven we would choose, and we know which eleven you would choose. Luckily, they are one and the same.
The reel will explain more.
We know you have many questions for us, and maybe, one day, you will find them on your own, but we will not tell you.
In the meantime, be wise, wary, and watchful.

DHARMA”

Hurley sighed heavily. “This is getting way to weird for me.”

**********

Chapter 3

The knife slid through the fruit easily, meeting his thumb on the other side as he popped the slice of mango into his mouth.

Surprisingly, Sawyer hadn’t eaten much of the food Dharma had dropped, only participating in the rampage for it to keep his reputation. He had taken to the food they had lived on before Boone and Locke had literally unearthed the hatch. Besides, he’d developed quite the taste for mangos.

Sawyer dropped his head, pulling out the skin of the mango and setting it in the sand beside him, gently rubbing his temples.

Kate.

Somehow, no matter what he’d been thinking about in the first place, his thoughts trailed back to her. What was she doing now? What was she thinking about? Where is she? Is she okay?

Sawyer sighed, raising his head again to stare out at the ocean. A shiver sent up his side, and his stomach flipped, but he didn’t even flinch because none of this was anything new. He’d been feeling it for a long, long time.

**********

Chaos had broken out again amongst the group in the hatch. Arguing, yelling. The argument had branched from two sides, (if they should try and find the reel first, or if they should figure out who the eleventh watcher was,) and hadn’t spread into a million sub arguments, most of which had nothing to do with Dharma.

Finally, though, they had seemed to all decide on looking for the reel.

“I bet someone took it,” Ana said bluntly, looking up from her position cross legged on the floor.

A few cries of agreement echoed through the room, and Jack finally stood up. “So we all agree that someone took it?” Most nodded their heads, and Jack managed to look over the few who didn’t. “Why don’t we write down who we think took it, pass it forward, and decide what to do from there.”

Everyone agreed to that, except for Eko who was still sitting silently and surveying the whole thing. In the end, it was eight to one, (Eko didn’t participate.)

One read ‘Charlie’ and the other eight read, none to surprisingly, ‘Sawyer’.

Silently, Kate slipped away.

**********

Sawyer lay, head propped up by his hand, staring forlornly at the pile of mango peels that sat in front of them. He’d managed to drag the fruit out, amidst his thoughts and revelations, and had just moments before dropped the last peel onto the ground. Now he had nothing to keep his thoughts from floating to Kate.

The way her sable colored curly hair fell into her face. The way her green eyes glinted. That frustrated but amused look she was always giving him that made him try for it again and again, begging for more like a little boy begging for chocolate. The graceful way her body moved, and her past just as sh*tty as his had been.

Sawyer let out a breath, shaking slightly. But he was a conman. A murderer. A screwed up man with a screwed up past. He didn’t deserve her. No one deserved her, in his slightly warped opinion, but least of all him. Sure, she’d made mistakes in her life, maybe even more then he had, but doesn’t everyone? At least she’d redeemed herself. She wasn’t the island a*s, he was. She’d be better off with The Hero anyway.

Kate couldn’t breathe. She’d sprinted from the hatch, catapulting over logs and dodging trees. Sweat covered her body as though it, her clothes, and her hair were a second skin. The beach and the hatch had never seemed so far away, although they’d always been quite a ways apart.

The group had been angry when she left. It was as if even though none of them really thought Sawyer had stolen the reel, this was the chance they’d all been waiting for to turn their anger on someone. He wouldn’t deny it, and they knew that. They knew he felt as though he should suffer, and Kate knew that most of all.

Kate had absolutely no doubt in her mind Sawyer wouldn’t even try to deny their accusations. He wanted to suffer, so, essentially, Kate was saving him from himself.

“Well hey there, Freckles. Miss me?” Sawyer had spotted her, had rolled onto his stomach, and was now watching her with his biggest grin. She had appeared to be running, and now was bending over slightly, trying to breathe. His stomach was doing that freaky thing again, and he couldn’t have stopped smiling if he tried. But he wasn’t trying.
Kate opened her mouth to speak, but the words stuck in her throat as she looked over her shoulder. They were probably almost here by now. It wouldn’t be pretty.

Maybe, though, Kate could keep him from the worst.

“Sawyer, did you take the reel?”

“What?” For once, Sawyer was to surprised to come up with something sarcastic to say.

“Did you take the reel?”

“What reel?”

Kate sighed in relief, before again checking over his shoulder. “Promise me you didn’t.”

“Didn’t what?” Sawyer asked, confused.

“Promise me you didn’t take the reel!” Kate repeated, exasperated.

The grin that hadn’t disappeared now impossibly widened. “Do you want this in blood, darlin’?”

Kate shot him a disgusted glare. “If you’ll tell the truth then, yeah.”

Sawyer chuckled. “Yeah, I promise. Now what the hell are you talkin’ about?” He’d been hoping he’d see her again soon, but he hadn’t really been expecting this sort of meeting. Then again, he should expect the unexpected on this godforsaken island.

“Long story short, Locke found a note saying there was supposed to be a reel in the wreckage. You being the packrat you are, they turned on you. They’re on their way over here now, and...” Kate blushed, her summarization trailing off.

“And?” Sawyer nudged, standing now.

“And I thought you deserved to know ahead of time.” Kate amended quickly, deciding on saying something other than what she originally had in mind.

“Well thanks for that, Freckles. I guess. They can find me in my tent.” By now, Sawyer’s smile had faded, but he shot Kate a last grin before heading off across the beach towards his tent.
**********

The anger fell over her like waves, submersing her as she fought to keep her head above it all. Once Kate had caught back up with the group they were silence, although all were tense as though an unended argument still sat in the air, and Kate knew it did. They’d never missed her.

Her mind kept wandering, leaving her to trip through the forest, Libby ever so often gently reaching out to steady her. Hurley and Mr.Eko were having a whispered conversation in the back of the group, setting her on edge as it seemed as though their eyes kept falling on her.

She worried for Sawyer, of course. How would this turn out? Did he take the reel and was lying to her? Would he deny it?

Kate sucked in her breath as they reached the beach, and didn’t let it out until they’d come to Sawyer’s tent. The whole group stood in tense anger for a few moments, and seeing as no one else appeared to be doing it, Kate hesitantly said, “Sawyer?”

He stepped out, grinning. Kate tried to catch his eyes, but he acted as though their chat moments before had never happened. “Well howdy, kids. Come to see a show? I have Ariel on VHS, but haven’t found a TV or a video player. Did you know their ain’t any goddamn outlets on this island?”

Jack stiffened, in no mood for Sawyer’s playful remarks. “We want the reel, Sawyer.”

“Why should I give it to you?”

Inaudibly, Kate groaned.

**********

It's a shame no one's reading. Suppose I'll just post another chapter =).
Chapter 4

“Give it to us, Sawyer.”

Kate’s eyes were closed, a groan echoing from her body. Silently, she repeatedly willed Sawyer to say he didn’t have it. She doubted the group would believe it, but if he just said that he didn’t have it, she could defend him.

Please, please, please, please, she willed him, but if he got the message, he paid no heed.

“Now, Doc, what right do you have to take it?”

They all stood in silence, Sawyer still avoiding Kate’s eyes and grinning like the maniac he was acting like at the moment.

“We don’t want a repeat of what happened last time,” Sayid growled threateningly, and Sawyer smiled. “I thought you said what you did was wrong, and you’d never do it again.” Sayid stiffened, and even Kate couldn’t help but think, ‘Cheap shot.’ “And it’ll be unfair, just like last time. Last time Howdy-Doody and Sideshow Bob snuck up on me while I was sleepin’ and this time my arm’s still outta commission.”

“Do you have the reel or not?” Kate called, trying to throw her voice, and giving him a chance to say no. Only then did Sawyer look at her, and Kate frantically searched his eyes. They stood, eyes locked for a few moments before Sawyer softly growled, “Depends.”

The word was barely out of his mouth before Ana-Lucia had stepped up and slugged him across the jaw, causing Sawyer to take a pride-squashing involuntary step backwards.

“Rambina!” Sawyer said, in a scolding way, rubbing his chin, the cocky grin never leaving his face, and his head tipped slightly to the side. “I’m ashamed of you! Maybe I’d give it to you guys if ya asked politely, but no... Have to go and hit the hand that feeds ya.”

Sawyer was rewarded with another punch and Sawyer simply grinned, though he shook his head as though brushing off the pain that was coursing through his jaw. He risked a quick look in Kate’s direction, and immediately regretted it. She was standing there, head dropped and hands stuffed into the back pockets of her jeans with such defeat that he wanted to scream at whoever made her feel that way. And then he realized it was him who made her feel that way. Which, of course, just made it all worse.

**********

“Shh, shh,” Claire cooed softly to Aaron, gently scooping him up into her arms, and swaying. The baby was fussy, and had been since he’d gotten over the fever, and being a regular worrisome Claire was afraid the fever was coming back. Gently she stepped out to stand in the setting sun, the light filtering through the trees to gently fall in odd patterns across her body. She was watching the group from afar, silently thankful that they hadn’t invited her. She couldn’t stand the pressure.

Aaron was getting unusually heavy in her arms, and he shifted the baby to her other arms, still watching the group, flinching slightly both times Ana’s fist connected with Sawyer’s jaw. Claire turned away, gently sitting the baby who had calmed down, back into the crib Locke had made.

She wished that Sun wasn’t with the group - if only Jin could speak English - and then maybe she could get this whole thing off her chest. Idly rocking the crib, she stared to the side out across the endless blue waves.

Claire couldn’t understand why she felt this guilty. She was just protecting Aaron, protecting her baby. Wasn’t that what all mothers were supposed to do, no matter what the cost? Sawyer wouldn’t mind, if he ever found out. Well, Sawyer might, but no one else would. They would forgive her. Just protecting her baby.

She had to repeat the phrase to herself multiple times before she actually believed it. Claire had never had to deal with such guilt in her life, even when Thomas left. Dropping her head, thankful for the soft blonde curls that fell around and veiled her face, Claire cried.

**********

Somehow, the group had managed to migrate to the tree line, at which point Jack and gruffly said, “You’re comin’ with us, Sawyer.”

For once, Sawyer didn’t argue. He was to busy planning his next move.

Jack, Ana-Lucia, Libby, Locke, Sayid, were walking in a tight group, while Mr.Eko, Sun, Jin and Hurley were having a hushed, animated conversation for Jin’s benefit. Sawyer of course, was at the very back taking his time, and Kate was trying to talk to him without gaining Jack’s suspicion. It didn’t help that Sawyer was, at the same time, trying to avoid her.

Finally throwing caution to the wind, and hoping the rest would interpret it at an attempt at getting him to speak, Kate dropped back to walk alongside him.


“Sawyer, why are you doing this?” Kate asked softly, staring straight ahead.

Sawyer turned to study her, sadly. “Doin’ what, Freckles? They’re the ones draggin’ us out here.”

“Why didn’t you say you didn’t have it?” Kate asked, only then turning to look at him, swallowing hard.

“How do you know I don’t?” Sawyer asked softly, and Kate sighed angrily, jogging to catch up with Mr.Eko.

Jin, Sun, Eko and Hurley had abruptly ended their conversation when Kate arrived, although she didn’t notice. The rest of the way was walked in hurried, tensed silence.

In the back of the group, Sawyer was silently kicking himself. Why did he have to say something so stupid? Why did he always have to take away any points he ever managed to rack up with Kate, not to mention a few extra hundred that he hadn’t earned in the first place.

Sometimes he hated her, sometimes he cared, but most of the time, he wasn’t even sure. That feeling in his stomach was gone, and Sawyer missed it painfully. Was it just because she wasn’t near, or was it over? Had it ever started?

**********

Once they’d reached the hatch, they’d stood around staring at Sawyer in confusion for a few moments. None were all that sure what to do. It was one thing to lock someone like the false Henry Gale up in the armory and beat him, but Sawyer... They’d known him for two months. And Sawyer’s comment on Sayid’s torturing habits had hit home, and Sayid refused to have anything to do with getting Sawyer to speech. Finally, Kate volunteered.

“Kate, you can’t do this, you,” Jack started, but Kate interrupted him.

“Why not?” She smiled grimly. “I worked pretty well last time.”

Jack nodded defeated, and since the false, and now mute, Henry Gale was occupying the armory, the other people in the group, leaving Sawyer and Kate sitting on the bunk on which Sawyer had first awoken.

“Sawyer.”

“Kate.”

They sat in silence, before Kate finally turned to him. “Do you or do you not have the reel, Sawyer. I don’t want any of your bullsh*t, just tell me. You can tell me.”

Her last four words sent shivers up his spine, and any trace of smile gone from his face, Sawyer stared steadfastly into Kate’s blue-green eyes. Kate watched transfixed as Sawyer’s blue eyes turned steely, and watched helplessly as he seemed to be caring on an internal battle. Finally, he sighed, coming up with an answer.

“No.”

**********

I've never realized how short this chapter was till I went through and re-edited it. But, being my favorite, I didn't try to lengthen it for fear of ruining it, just added a smidge of fluff in the whole Rose area. I'm resigned to the fact that no one's going to review me unless I keep bugging you/post more chapters, so here's chapter five. REVIEW IT OR DIE.
Chapter 5

Kate almost kissed him in relief, but caught herself in time. She had no doubt that he was telling the truth, and she was thankful for that. Even if he was lying, she’d rather float in blissful ignorance.

“Then why’d you lead them on as if you did have the reel?” Kate cringed slightly the moment the words were out of her mouth. She knew that was a stupid question for her to ask of someone like Sawyer, and she shouldn’t have asked it, but it slipped out from between her lips before she could stop it.

Sawyer hesitated, unsure how to answer, and dropped his head. Hoping she’d go along with it, he said softly, “‘Cause I had to.” Kate nodded, understanding and respectful of his need to keep away from his past, or the way he dealt with his past. She did that constantly too. “Do you know who did it? Take it, I mean?” Sawyer asked softly, voice low and urgent. “‘Cause I’m not sure if I wanna take the rap for ‘em.”

Kate again had to watch herself to make sure she didn’t laugh aloud. He did want to take the rap, but he also wanted to figure out who did it. She turned to look at him, and smiled softly, the sun filtering through the blinds across the from the bed and the thin strips of light were delicately dancing across his body as he uncomfortably moved. As though afraid it would break if she touched it, Kate gently stretched out her hand to trace one of the lines of light.

Sawyer opened his mouth to make some sarcastic remark, but for once managed to think before he spoke, and simply watched her in her own little verision of a trance. “Kate,” he said gently, and Kate jerked, as though awaken from a dream she didn’t want to leave, and then had suddenly forgotten about.

Smiling, embarrassed, Kate stood. “I’m... I’m sorry. And I’m not to sure who would have taken it. I voted for Charlie when we were all voting but.... I don’t really believe it’s him.”

Damn that little voice in her head. It was nagging at her again, in the back of her head. Tell him. Tell him you voted Charlie because you didn’t want him hurt. Tell him you voted Charlie because you care.

The overpowering urge to run was gnawing away at her again, so Kate did the next best thing. Smiling and standing, her usual serene way masking her concern and confusion, she held out her hand to help him up. “Let’s go tell them.” She grimaced as he groaned softly as he got to his feet. She hadn’t realized his shoulder had started hurting again. Sawyer shot her an . . . almost looked scared look. “They won’t believe me.”

Kate laughed. “I believe you.” Her legs turned to jelly at the appreciative, even admirable look he gave her. Silently, they stuck their heads out the hatch looking for the group who was were standing, silent, just to the left of the door.

As the two stepped out, Kate protectively ahead, Sawyer sighed heavily. “Well?” Locke prompted pointedly.

“He doesn’t have it.” Kate said simply.

A wave of mumbles spread through out the group and Jack appeared to bristling. “What do you mean ‘he doesn’t have it’?” Jack growled, still managing to stay level headed. “He said he did.”

Sawyer behind her tensed, but blessedly stayed silent. “He didn’t say he had it, Jack.”

Jack opened his mouth to point out that he was acting as though he did, and if he didn’t have it, then he was trying to hurt himself, and why would he do that? But, sensing it, Kate quickly cut across him again. “Point is, he doesn’t have it. At the moment, we need to decide who the eleventh watcher is, and who did take the reel.”

Sawyer couldn’t resist the urge anymore. He had to know. Stepping forward, Sawyer spoke up. “Well I know ya’ll are having a fantastic time making me feel stupid, but I’d really like to know what’s goin’ on.”

Quickly Locke explained the whole situation yet again, adding in the parts that had happened since he told Kate. Sawyer asked a few questions, most of which the group didn’t know the answer to themselves, and once he seemed satisfied, the group that now numbered eleven headed back into the hatch.

“Sawyer!... Sawyer!” Sawyer turned, surprised to see Jin calling him, motioning him towards him and Sun. “Yeah, daddio?” Sawyer asked casually, although was hurt that the couple accepted the idea of attacking him. “Sorry,” Jin said, and Sawyer grinned. “It’s okay,” Sawyer said. They stood in awkward silence for a little while, before Sawyer shrugged, and walked off.

Kate watched the whole goings on from a few steps away, beaming like a proud parent. And Kate was proud. Slowly, he was becoming one of the group.

This time, Jack took the position as head of the group. “So, this still leaves us with the problem as to where the reel is.” As Jack went off into some long-winded speech about complacency, friendship and teamwork, Kate found her mind wandering off. Not only was she proud of Sawyer, she found herself to be immensely proud of herself. Sawyer had spoken to her, and had told her the truth. Without her there, it was very likely he’d be out tied to a tree in the jungle of mystery being tortured by a damn spinal surgeon and a gen-u-ine Iraqi. Again.

Kate jumped, startled as something brushed against her arm. She had to fight her automatic instinct to jab the thing in the gut and run, but instead, calmly turned her head to look who... or what it was.

She let out a sight of relief and a smile that turned the man’s legs once again to jell-o covered her face when she saw it was Sawyer. What am I doing here? He asked himself frantically as soon as he’d find himself at Kate’s side. He’d said he was going to stay away from her. Let her live out the rest of her time in safety and good company. But here he was, fighting the urge to reach for her body and hold it close to him.

“Long story short, I think we ought to go back to normal life, or as normal as it can get on this place. Do things normally. Just act like you would under a more... uh... normal circumstance, and see if we can find anything.” Jack concluded, stepping down off the group to nods and murmurs of agreement, wondering, despite themselves if any had said 'normal' that many times in one sentence before. It had been decided. Time for life to go back to as normal as Kate and Sawyer’s life had ever been.

**********

People asked her why she was always smiling. ‘We’re stuck on an island, for chrissakes! There’s no hope they’re gonna find us, and you’re happy?’
But she’d just look around her and smile. People paid thousands of dollars to do something like this. Go to a nice, secluded tropical place, and just relax - not that they were doing much of that. Just get away from it.

And now all these people were here for free, and they weren’t appreciating any of it. The breath taking beauty. The break of the routine, from the day to day strife.

Well, Rose was, and intended on, taking full advantage of it.

For the first time in so long she felt good. Great, perfectly fine. No nagging ache, no exhaustion sneaking up on her when she least expected it.

The aging African American bent over her work, washing clothes out on the beach as she usually did, refusing to use to the washer in the hatch. Why, when you had the ocean to watch?

But as much as she hated to admit it, she was not guilt free. Claire had shared her worries with her, and Rose was regretting Claire’s action more then Claire herself was. It was like she was putting a weight in a different side of a scale for each reason why or why not she should have done it, and it always ended up even. It reminded her of that one episode on Full House when Joey and Jesse were trying to decide if they wanted to take their advertising job full time... great. She really was going insane - comparing her life with those of the Full House gang, Jesse, Danny, D.J., Stephanie, the whole group. Life would never be that simple, with plain little problems like, 'Stephanie gets made fun of because of her name' or, 'D.J. and Stephanie get scared after watching a scary movie'. Life would never be a sitcom. Part of her was glad, but a bigger part most certainly was not. But no matter what, life would never be a sitcom. She had to keep telling herself that, or she'd drift into a fantasy, and for a little while, think it was all that simple. But it wasn't, and she had to face reality.

Only problem being, she couldn’t decide whether or not to tell. Sometimes she’d be on her way to Jack to tell him, and then turn back around. Other times, she’d be so desperate to get it over with, she’d run to tell Sawyer, get there, and then chicken out and say something like, ‘well, have a nice day, then, Sawyer!’ and run away.

"Good Lord, Claire," Rose thought to aloud, "Next time find someone else to confide in."

**********

Chapter 6

THE MOVEMENT of the axe was relaxing. Up, over the shoulder, down swishing through the air, slam into the log, repeat. Kate had never thought she’d steal the tedious job from Sawyer, but here she was, released from the tension building inside her with every slam of the axe. Anger floating away, Sawyer floating in.

Slam. Slam. Slam. Her muscled body fell into a rhythm as she worked, finding herself pausing occasionally to let the beat catch up with her. Slam. Slam. Slam. Splinters and odd pieces of wood flew around as each swing became more vicious as every ounce of her guilt was let out on the innocent, unsuspecting piece of bamboo below her. Sweat ran down her body in streams, and her mouth was opened with her ragged breathing. With every slam of the axe, a little bit of anger left her, and the violence of the chops were intensified. She couldn’t breathe now, but still she chopped on.

“Kate...?” Kate whirled around, dropping the axe, in a defensive stance, breathing still ragged.

The blonde Aussie emerged from the tree line with Aaron clasped protectively to her chest, eyeing Kate warily. “Kate... I need to talk to you.”

Kate looked around herself, embarrassed. It was around noon the day after the accusations had been made, and Kate found herself in broad daylight, with no shadows to retreat into. “I’m sorry, Claire. You... startled me.”

“It’s okay,” Claire said sitting down on a rock and idly, still watching Kate suspiciously, playing with the baby. “Kate, I need to talk to you,” Claire repeated. “About something... personal.”

Kate had looked distractedly away as the blonde had spoken, not all that interested, and looking for escape from the embarrassing situation, but Kate’s view had jerked back to Claire’s eyes with alarm at her last words. Her first thought that jumped to mind was Claire was pregnant again, and Kate really didn’t want to have to play mid-wife again, and she’d have to put up with her and Sun and...

Kate calmed down. Claire probably wasn’t pregnant. Ever since the whole ‘Virgin Mary Incident’, Charlie and Claire weren’t really on the best of terms, and Claire wasn’t really all that close to anyone else... Disturbed shivers shot unexpectedly up Kate’s spine. Locke had been hanging around a lot lately... No, Kate decided determinedly, Claire wasn’t pregnant again.

Then what? Kate couldn’t help but think, harshly, that nothing really could be wrong with the young mother. Kate deliciously let her rage take over her venomous thoughts, nothing could be the matter with Claire. Claire had everything. Claire was perfect. Claire had no dark past, no guilt, nothing. Claire really did have a clean slate.

Slowly, Kate drifted back to the present to find a slightly bewildered Claire staring at her, apparently waiting for an answer. Taking a deep, calming breath, Kate sat decidedly upon the ground cross legged and looked back at the confused new mother. “Okay, Claire, let’s talk.”

**********

HE HATED these lazy days. The sort of day when, the day before when you just wanted a little peace and piles of work sat in front of you seemed like salvation. And then, today, there was absolutely nothing to do, with a long day stretching it’s full length in front of you.

Sawyer let out a heavy sigh, glancing down at the rifle weighing down his lap that he had been cleaning before he drifted off into thoughts... about Kate. Even if he wouldn’t, couldn’t, admit to everyone else she was always on his mind, the least he could do was admit it to himself.

Every time Sawyer thought about her, it went the same way, down the same beaten path, although it always seemed like a new experience to him. New pain, new sadness, new happiness, and new resolution,

It always started with something, or someone, sparking his memory, distracting him from whatever monotonous task he’d set himself at to keep his mind busy. Then, he asked himself why he was thinking about her. Sawyer, the real and the false, had done this before, to seduce a woman into willfully giving up her money and her essence, and he’d never really thought about the girl herself more then twice. But this was different. This was Freckles. This was Kate.

Then, he’d go onto begrudgingly admit to himself, yes, he cared. Yes, yes, she seemed to be there every waking moment of his life, even tiptoeing silently about his dreams. In and out, in and out, Kate was the face in the shadows, the one he didn’t recognize until she was gone.

Lastly, he would, although he’d gone through this whole process dozens of times before, Sawyer grew a seemingly newfound, steely determination. I will not try for her. I will let her go. I will do the right thing for once in my life. I will let The Hero have her. I will keep her safe. I will protect her.

Sawyer looked around himself hopefully. The last time he’d had these thoughts, Kate had come running onto the scene, but Feckles had gone out for bamboo an hour before and had yet to return. He wasn’t sure whether this was a relief, or not.


**********

“SO YOU'RE trying to tell me that Danielle told you to take the reel? With no other reason?” Kate’s voice had an poorly masked dubious ring to it, and Kate felt ashamed when Claire looked embarrassed.

“Yes, I... I guess I wasn’t thinking. It was really scary, and I just don’t want Aaron to get hurt and...” Claire trailed off, unable to come up with any other reasons for her to steal the reel, and held up Aaron for emphasis.

“It’s okay, Claire,” Kate said shakily, trying to reassure Claire but unable to reassure herself. “I believe you. I’m just not sure if Jack will buy it. Are you sure that’s what happened?”

Claire nodded, looking pitifully down at Aaron.

“Do you still have the reel, do you know where it is?”

Claire nodded again, this time raising her eyes to give her a sort of puppy dog, Kate help me!, stare.

“Okay, Claire. Tell me the story one more time...”

**********

ROSE SIGHED, turning to look silently at Sun who sat beside her. Both of the women were leaning against a palm tree, an unannounced silence swallowing them up as they both sat and thought.

Sun was still in turmoil. She’d disapproved of rampaging poor Sawyer, and still did, but anger was a disastrous weapon, and Jack, Ana-Lucia, and Sayid had, had plenty of it.

But Rose was at peace. Claire had always kept her promises, at least as far as she knew, and Claire had promised to go talk to some. Rose was relieved. She hated the idea of betraying Claire, but her sense of righteousness had been starting to over power her when the Aussie had taken the burden from her. Who would she tell, and why? Rose mused silently.

Maybe she’d pick Sawyer. He wouldn’t take it personally, he’d just probably throw some derogatory marks her way, but secretly appreciate her for giving him pain to drown in. But, Claire probably wouldn’t go to him, she tended to avoid Sawyer at all costs, and appeared to be afraid of him.

Maybe she’d go to Hurley. He’d laugh it off but secretly be amazed, and probably slip up and say something offensive, but not mean it and over-apologize. And although Claire would act as though she didn’t mind, she’d take it personally. No, Claire wouldn’t go to Mr.Reiss.

Maybe she’d confide in Jack. Although he’d yell at her, tell her it was wrong and shove her out of the loop for a couple of days, Claire wouldn’t mind because everyone trusted Jack. Sometimes, Rose wasn’t sure if that trust was to well-placed, but she knew Claire really did trust Jack. But, she’d be afraid of the confrontation, and rather avoid. No, Claire wouldn’t go to the doctor.

Maybe she’d tell Kate. That seemed like Claire’s most likely choice. Kate was thoughtful and understanding, and contrary to Jack’s rash decisions usually thought before she did anything. Kate would accept, probably listen to Claire’s story a few times, then decide what to do. Maybe she wouldn’t even tell Jack.

Sun sighed heavily, leaning over to rest her head on Rose’s shoulder, and the older woman smiled. Yes, Rose decided, Claire would confide in Kate.

**********

Chapter 7


KATE SIGHED heavily, rummaging around in the tent by the beach. She might as well admit it to herself, she was stalling. The last thing on Earth she wanted to do was go and explain the whole situation to Jack, but she had to. And she had to take Claire, because she knew Jack wouldn’t be all that happy if she didn’t, as much as the Aussie begged her not to, and Sawyer, because she felt he ought to know about all this.

He was the one, after all, that had almost taken Claire’s... beating.

It wasn’t surprising, Kate thought, yet kind of sad, in a way, that they were more then willing to beat Sawyer without any idea, other then Sawyer simply being an a*ss, why he would take it, yet all that would happen to Claire after confessing to the whole thing, was Jack would yell at her. Most likely.

Point is, stalling isn’t all that bad a thing to do, is it?

Okay, maybe it was. So maybe it was a bad thing she wasn’t running to tell Jack, and hadn’t even told Sawyer yet, that Claire took the reel, not Sawyer, just to protect Aaron, which Danielle convinced Claire stealing the reel would do. Kate sighed. This island wove such a tangled web, and too many people were caught up in it to keep a level head.

Kate bent down to fill her water bottle, before silently chiding herself and throwing the water bottle down into the sand. She was just going to the hatch, for chrissake, she didn’t need a week worth of provisions!

Finally disgusted with herself for all the stalling, she set at a fast pace off into the tree line towards the hatch, hoping to get a ways away, before she could come up with another reason to avoid the whole thing.

Kate sighed softly as she entered the jungle, relaxed by the gentleness of it all. She’d calmed down, now, less to think about, so what, or rather who, sprung to her mind, but Sawyer? He never seemed to be able to leave her alone, even in her thoughts. Kate laughed. Sawyer would be sure to appreciate that for what it meant.

But he never would. Instinctively, Kate’s hand reached for the airplane, squeezing it, as though it was the hand of a friend. Friend. What a joke, she had no friends. Her closest goddamn friend was a piece of plastic.

Kate walked on in angered silence, breathing heavy as she thought. She cared. Oh God, she cared. But Tom.... Wasn’t it betraying Tom to love another? After what she had done to him, to his poor wife and son? Wasn’t that betrayal in it’s worst form? And besides, Sawyer didn’t care for her. If he cared, he never would have left. Never would have went and gotten himself shot.

“Well day-um, Freckles. You sure know how to go on a hike!”

Kate didn’t bother to look behind her, she’d recognize that southern drawl anywhere, and besides, she didn’t want him to see her grin. Kate was kind of surprised he’d been able to make such an...er...dramatic entrance. Sawyer was usually anything but sneaky, although he was quite clever, and most people could hear him from over a mile off. But, this time, Kate had been so wrapped up in her thoughts, she hadn’t even noticed him coming.

“I was trying to catch up with ya, ‘cause Missy Claire told me that she told you what happened. What happened, anyway? But, point is, I’ve been trying to get your attention for the past, what, million years, but noooo... the Belle of the Ball just felt like trekking through the whole goddamn jungle and, are you even listening?” Sawyer drawled through this whole speech, gasping for air as Kate had apparently been moving pretty fast, although she was totally unaware of it. Truth was, and Sawyer grumbled as Kate looked towards him apologetically.

“I was gonna go get you but...I forgot...?” Sawyer chuckled, not missing the way she turned it into a question as though asking if he would buy it.

“Well, what are we waitin’ for. Let’s go.” Kate smiled softly, stiffening slightly, out of habit, when he quickened his pace to walk beside her.

They walked in silence for a while, a silence so loud, Kate expected to see lines of electricity dancing between them when she turned to study him. He turned to meet her untrusting gaze, grinning at her, and Kate ducked away from his smile.

For Kate, time passed quickly, and it was as though seconds later she looked back at him with a furrowed brow. “What are you doing?”

Sawyer looked sheepish. “Hummin’”

“Humming what?” Kate asked, suspicious.

Sawyer ducked his head, blushing. “‘You All Everybody’” the man said, naming a hit single of Charlie’s band. Kate gasped, and then collapsed onto the ground, laughing hysterically. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t that funny, maybe hysteria was setting in. But, it was pretty funny. Sawyer, whistling Charlie’s falsetto of ‘You All Everybody’?

Sawyer tried desperately to blow it off. “It... It’s a catchy song, and the Limey Runt has been runnin’ around singin’ it all day and...” Sawyer trailed off, seeing she wasn’t going to stop laughing under his own persuasion, and genuinely amazed by her beauty. Her gracefulness.

One would never thing that a girl in her mid twenties, sitting cross-legged on the floor of an uncharted jungle, surrounded by polar bears, doomsday computers, and a psychotic French chick could never be pretty, but Kate did. Kate was. The way the sunlight, filtered through the leaves catching the flyaway strands of her curly sable colored hair that fell past her shoulders. That her nose, splattered with freckles, scrunched up in laughter could be so cute. But it did. It was.

Kate suddenly stopped laughing, as though sensing Sawyer’s awestruck gaze. Kate turned, tender and raw suddenly, to look up at him, and he leaned over to pull her up to her feet, Kate rising willingly.

Sawyer paused, as there noses brushed, and Kate leaned in first, gently brushing his cheek as though she meant nothing more. Sawyer caught her, though, holding her as her lips slid slowly to his. She groaned against him softly, as he slipped his tongue in between her lips, and she opened up to him.

This was so different from their first kiss. The first being harsh and hurried, as though they were taking out their anger on the other. But this one was different from anything either had ever felt. Peaceful and slow, as though they had all the time in the world.

They held it for as long as they could, before breaking away momentarily, gasping for air, then diving back into the kiss as it became more rushed, more hard. Sawyer leisurely backed Kate up against a tree, and Kate leaned into him. He caught her bottom lip, biting it gently as she sighed against his lips. Finally, Sawyer broke it, and closed his blue eyes as Kate rested her head against his chest.

This was not safe. What had he done?

**********

“JACK?” KATE called out, as Sawyer and her entered the hatch.

It felt nice to break the nerve-racking silence Sawyer and Kate had held since Kate had finally backed away from the warmth of the conman’s body. An oppressive stare had flickered between them before, as though on silent mutual agreement, they finished the walk in silence, each left to wallow in their own thoughts. For once, Kate’s thoughts were more fantasizing then Sawyer’s.

Although one, if that person didn’t delve to deep into Sawyer’s inter-working mind, would think that he wouldn’t be the protective type. He had, after all, ruin lives for a living. But maybe it was his childhood, the guilty feeling of, ‘maybe if I’d have done this, mom wouldn’t have gotten bored with dad,’ or maybe if I’d of done that. The ways Sawyer could fault himself for what had happened were endless.

And Kate... Well, if he thought about it, Kate was in much deeper sh*t then he was. They’d both screwed their lives, but at least their was a good chance Sawyer wouldn’t be leaving this island in handcuffs. After all, who is it that says, ‘It’s not a crime if you don’t get caught’?

But Kate had gotten caught. Sawyer had finally managed to wrap his mind around that on the raft, sorting through the notes in the bottle, looking for hers but never finding it. Kate had gotten caught. If they were ever rescued, Kate was as good as dead. For Kate, being on the island was rescue. And the more he thought about it, the more he realized at least half the people didn’t want to leave the island.

Sawyer always had felt a strange connection to Kate, as though he was the only one who even remotely understood her (and probably was). As though he was the only who could take care of her, watch over her, not that Kate, of all people, really needed a guardian angel.

So, Sawyer had been chiding himself on that impossibly long walk to the hatch, where had that streak of protectiveness flown to when he’d kissed Kate? It was a stupid thing to do, and jeopardizing the safety of both of them. He knew, in the end, he’d just hurt her like he’d hurt Cassidy.

He would never forgive himself for hurting Cassidy, and if her hurt Kate, he’d never forgive himself for that, either.

And now, as Sawyer looked at her, he realized how hopeless the whole thing would be, pretending not to love her. But for her sake, he had to try. For now, though, he could tell she was totally focused on explaining the whole thing to him and Jack, what with her one-track mind, and he was perfectly content with that. If Kate was thinking about it, Sawyer wouldn’t be able to deal with the furtive glances, and he needed some time to think.

“Hey,” Jack said, a bit uncomfortable at the glares Sawyer was shooting at him. “What’s going on?”

Kate slid into the roller chair in front of the computer, and Jack crossed his arms, his glance flashing between Kate, and Sawyer who stood leaning against the doorjamb.

“I know who has the reel, Jack, and I know why she took it.”

**********

PLEASE REVIEW ME! I need to know if I should keep posting this here!

Chapter 8

“SHE TOOK it?” Repeated Jack and Sawyer, simultaneously, both obviously doubtful. Although Jack really did think that Sawyer had taken the reel, Kate had said she knew a motive, and that dashed his theory.

But it was the ‘she’ that threw Jack off. As much as he hated to admit it, the only ‘she’s on this island he really thought were capable of stealing the reel were Ana-Lucia and Kate herself, but Ana-Lucia had no motive as far as he knew, she didn’t seem to care about anything or anyone, and Kate was certainly not the type to turn herself in.

Jack wasn’t exactly happy with the motley crew that inhabited the island, and wouldn’t mind pointing an accusing finger at a few of the men on the island, but he just couldn’t see any of the women taking it. Sweet, gentle Sun, Claire, Rose, Libby. It just didn’t make sense.

Sawyer, though, had in a few moments, latched himself onto the idea that Ana-Lucia had stolen it, was going to take a beating, and was impressively happy by the whole thought. After all, Sawyer was certainly the type to entertain grudges for as long as they pleased to stick around. He grinned encouragingly at Kate, waiting happily for Kate to explain the dastardly reasons that Ana-Lucia stole the reel, that Ana-Lucia meant to kill them all, and to watch Jack lead everyone off into the jungle of mystery to go beat the sh*t out of her. Hell, he’d even help.

“Yeah,” Kate responded slowly, feeling as though she were talking to a pair of two year olds. “She took it. Claire took it.” Quickly, Kate forged on, not giving Sawyer and Jack time to react to the news that Claire took it. “Apparently, she was the last one to leave the clearing where the second hot air balloon was, ‘cause she wanted to stay behind and feed him. So she was sitting there, feeding him, when something caught her eye in the middle of the clearing. Turns out, it was another reel with the words, ‘Sea of Lilium Regale’ on it and-“ Kate was quickly interrupted by Jack.

“Are you sure that’s what it says? ‘Sea of Lilium Regale’? That doesn’t sound like a very Dharma thing to put on a reel.” Kate sighed with a look of disgust. She’d expected him to do this, but when he’d held off for so long, she’d hoped he wouldn’t. No such luck, but Sawyer jumped to her defense.

“Give ‘em a break, Jacko. Missy Claire’s not stupid, and Freckles ain’t deaf.” Kate smiled appreciatively, and Sawyer beamed.

“Yes, Jack, I’m sure,” Kate continued, with the agitated tone of talking to a five year old. “I asked her multiple times whether or not she was sure in a manner I was certain you would use had you been here, until she finally gave me the reel itself.” Quickly unzipping the backpack - the only thing she really had needed on her trip to the hatch - she pulled out a reel like the first two although in was incased in a plastic zip-lock bag, with the words ‘Sea of Lilium Regale’ expertly printed on the front, as though the person who had written it on there, had written it thousands of times before.

Jack jumped to grab it while Sawyer meandered towards the package and Jack, trying to look uninterested, and studying the totally uninteresting scenery, as men tend to do.

“Your right,” Jack declared, setting the reel down on the table as though his doubt in Kate and Claire was totally justifiable, but no one would have any reason to doubt his verdict. Sawyer, by now, had managed to meander the length of the room and had showed back up at where the reel now set on the table beside the computer, and he picked it up lazily, studying it.

“So, anyway,”Kate continued, “Who shows up but the island maniac, Danielle? She told Claire that she mustn’t show the reel to you, Jack, or to anyone else but Rose, and to only tell Rose if she absolutely positively had to.”

“And did she tell Rose?” Sawyer prompted surprisingly, engrossed in the all to paradox weirdness of it all.

“Yeah, she did. Anyway, Danielle told her, Claire, not Rose, that if we ever found and watched this reel, we would kill Aaron. She should know, Claire told me Danielle said that’s what happened with Alex.”

A stifling silence filled the room as they all mulled over what this all meant. Sawyer smiled, cocky, and was the first to speak. “Well then, what’re we waitin’ for? Let’s go kill us some babies!”

**********

“ROSE?” CLAIRE asked softly. The older woman raised her head from her position stretched quite comfortably out on the warm sand taking a nap.

“Yes, sweetheart?” Rose responded, rolling up onto her elbows as Claire sat down coldly calm cross-legged beside Rose. She noticed Aaron wasn’t with Claire today, and supposed Locke must be watching him. That Claire would leave Aaron alone on a regular basis surprised Rose, but after finding the reel Rose was shocked and a bit worried that Claire would leave her baby behind in the company with someone as... weird... as Locke. But Rose knew better then to interfere. Claire was supposed to care for Aaron alone, after all.

“I... I dunno if I did the right thing. Did I?” Claire, Rose realized slowly, was the weakest link in the island hierarchy. She was innocent, and as pure as you can be with a baby, and... everyone felt a sort of internal need to protect her. She was cute, she was sweet, and she was vulnerable. What more could someone want hanging around. Insecure was another word to describe Claire. Never sure if she made the right decision, never knowing which path to take. Claire just seemed to always be winging it, going with the flow, flying wherever the wind took her.

But now she was unsure of her decision. She sat with a decidedly calm look about her, a sort of, ‘You-can’t-touch-me’ look on her face, but an unbidden shiver of weakness clamored through her body when Rose least expected it.

“Claire... Claire!” Rose’s voice rose from a whisper to a shout to get the young mother’s attention. Claire turned slowly towards her. “You did the right thing, Claire. You did the right thing. Aaron won’t be touched, you know Jack, and Kate, and even Sawyer wouldn’t hurt him for the world. It’ll all be okay.”

Rose barely caught a single tear that slid down Claire’s cheek as she turned to face her, the Aussie quickly wiping it away as soon as it appeared. Suddenly though, Claire sniffed loudly and started to sob, dropping her head in defeat as Rose tried to regroup, watching the younger girl in shock.

“No, Rose, it’s not okay, Rose! It’s not, it’s not it’s not.” Here, Claire sneezed and hiccuped violently, before continuing on in a mournful rant, punctuated with sneezes and hiccups. “I’ve betrayed my own son! Betrayed him, betrayed him, betrayed him! Just like I betrayed Thomas, and Charlie, and Beth, and Andrea and... Oh, god, Rose. God, God, God, God, God.”

Claire collapsed into Rose’s arms, still sobbing. Rose rested her chin on Claire’s head, comfortingly wrapping her arm around Claire, and gently rubbing her hair. “It’ll be okay, Claire. The island won’t let anything bad happen.”

**********

“HUSH LITTLE baby, don’t say a word, mama’s gonna buy you a mocking bird,”

Locke’s eyes focused on Aaron’s eyes, watching him as the crib swayed gently with the ocean breeze.

“And if that mocking bird don’t sing, mama’s gonna buy you a diamond ring,”

Suddenly, staring at Aaron so intently, Locke was shocked. He let the crib swing itself down, still gazing at Aaron intensely, and only once the crib had stopped moving all together did Locke draw another breath. Aaron was so innocent.

When they had first crashed, so long ago, John had heard Jack talk to Kate about having a clean slate. A new life. Nothing they had done before, ever, mattered. Here, we could all start over. Of course, Jack had backtracked over his words endless times, hypocritical in all meanings of the word, letting Kate know she was as good as sh*it on this island, even if they did get a ‘clean slate.’ But Aaron truly did have a clean slate.

He’d done know wrong, he’d seen no wrong, and Locke seriously doubted Aaron had heard any wrong. Well, maybe Sawyer and Kate in the distance... John smirked.

Seriously, though, Aaron was pure. A virgin, all that was good, and clean, and pure with the world was represented in this one little bundle of blanket salvaged from the wreckage. And maybe Walt. But he'd been taken so long ago, John Locke wasn't sure if Walt's specialness would survive the trip home, if he ever did come home. Aaron was the morning sun that rose before anyone else was awake. Aaron was the sun that set at night, sending brilliant purples, pinks, and reds across the ocean sky, promising to rise again the next morning. Aaron was the waves the crashed against the waves, the consistency of it. Aaron was the island’s little Jesus, the island’s hope, the island’s salvation.

Somehow, Mr. John Locke knew, that if anything ever happened to Aaron, the island and all it’s inhabitants would die with him.

**********

Chapter 9

SAWYER, JACK and Kate had stalled watching the reel for as long as they possibly could. They really didn’t want to see what was supposedly going to make them kill Aaron, but it seemed if they didn’t watch it, the island’s mysteries would never get any closer to being explained. And even Aaron, to Jack, wasn’t that important.

Finally dusk fell, and they agreed unanimously that there was absolutely no point in watching it in the middle of the night, even though it was only around 6:00 P.M.

Jack took the red eye shift pushing the doomsday button, unbeknownst to the terror this caused Sawyer and Kate, who would be forced to walk back to the camp together, unless one of them could come up with a reason to stay a little longer at the hatch, and they were all out of excuses
.
“Bye Jack,” Kate called softly, hesitating in the doorjamb, hoping against hope that for some obscure, weird, totally Jack reason, he’d need her to stay there for a little while. Just a little while, a few moments was all she needed.

But Jack looked up, a little puzzled. Hadn’t they said goodbye just five minutes ago, and again before that? He peeked over her shoulder where he could see Sawyer’s back receding onto the path, and raised an eyebrow. What was going on with them?
Normally his curiosity would overpower his exhaustion, but he was in no mood for it, he had to mull over Aaron for a little while. Jack didn’t need any new mysteries to arise at this time of night. “Bye Kate. Could you tell Sun that the toothpaste Dharma had out here as run out, and we’re gonna have to start using that... aloe stuff or whatever it was again?”

Kate nodded, slightly bemused that she could be panicking so much about walking the ever increasing trail back to the camp with Sawyer in the middle of the night, (okay, 6:00 P.M.) And he could be worried about Aloe Toothpaste. “Yeah, Jack. Sure, I will.”

She nodded again, hesitating in the doorway before turning around and heading out of the airlock, not the least surprised to see Sawyer standing there, waiting for her.

He had his back to Kate, and she took advantage of the time to watch him. Dusk was beautiful on the tropical island, Kate’s favorite time of day, and it did wonders to the hard looking man standing in front of her. The dimming lights were playing tricks with his body, illuminating parts you’d least expect of his profile that she could see. His face had a determined expression on it, nothing she wasn’t used to, but she could just barely read a trace of sadness, as though he had to give up something for the greater good.

Kate opened her mouth to say something to him - she had no idea what - when Sawyer turned towards her, his cocky grin on his face. “Likin’ what ya see, Freckles?”

Sawyer smiled triumphantly as Kate blushed, loving the way it made her freckles more prominent, and the way she scrunched up her nose when she laughed. He turned away, and spoke suddenly gruffly. “C’mon, Sweetcheeks. The sun ain’t gonna wait for us to get back to camp, and I’d like to hold my title on this island as the only one who hasn’t walked into any damn trees.”

Kate looked crestfallen and nodded, walking after him. Again, they walked in silence, until their long strides matched, and they were side by side.

Suddenly all she could think about was about the inhalers Sawyer had supposedly taken, and what had happened. It seemed so long ago, as though it had happened before the crash, years and years before the crash. Around the same time she’d killed Wayne, maybe.
Funny how now, on this island, she could think about it without cringing.

But what had happened was something someone would expect to read about in a story book. Except instead of a Cinderella type story, it was closer to Aladdin. Maybe even Beauty and the Beast. Sawyer, a street rat or a man turned to beast, her, a young princess or just simply a young girl forced unwillingly into marriage. In each movie she saved him from something, the king’s guards or... whatever it was that happened with the rose in Beauty and the Beast.

Only difference was, she was no beauty, she was no princess. Kate smiled wryly. She was a fugitive, she ran, she was a criminal, and just like Sawyer had said not so long ago, tigers don’t change their stripes.

So, dear Lord, what was she waiting for? If she really thought about it, the timing was perfect. They were in the middle of a jungle, at dusk, walking down a frequently used path, but Sawyer would take care of that, and no one was looking for either one of them. Jack. Damn. He always did manage to make himself known when she least wanted him to.

What would Jack think? What would Jack do? Why, in God’s name, did she care about Jack at a moment like this? With an intensity that startled both of them, she nearly threw herself at Sawyer. Surprisingly, he hesitated, taking a minuscule step back but Kate persisted and he gave in, holding his arms out, opening up to her. Keeping one hand at the back of her neck and running through her hair, the other hand traveled slowly down the back of Kate’s body, as far as he could reach without bending over, before slowly traveling back up, only to slide up underneath her shirt and to rub lazy circles across her back.

The kiss had an irregular rhythm to it, intensifying, then becoming slow and gentle, then suddenly violent and passionate. The story of their lives. Once it had calmed down again, Sawyer groaned softly against her lips, and Kate stopped, leaning her forehead against his.
“What’re you sorry for?” She asked softly, trying to catch her breath.

“For this.” Sawyer answered gruffly, and Kate took a step back, the realization of what was going on hitting her hard and out of no where. Suddenly, she looked like one of those feral cats Sawyer had used to play with when he was little, back when he was James. They’d come up close, and then realize what they were doing and run away. It’d always made him want to cry, and mommy would always be there to hug him, tell him it was okay. Sawyer smiled grimly. Mommy wasn’t here anymore to make it all better.

Kate looked distracted. “For what, Sawyer? What are you sorry for?”

“For...” he stumbled over the words, and Kate watched in interest for the first time, as far as she was concerned, Sawyer had something similar to a school-boy blush on his face. “Kissing you...?” He made it into a question, and Kate nearly pitied him.

To smooth it over slightly, Kate feigned offence. “You’re sorry you kissed me? Good God, Sawyer, am I that bad?”

Sawyer grinned dryly, and Kate noticed that even his dimples didn’t look normal. “Freckles, I’m serious. I...I...”

Kate was quite sure this was the first time Sawyer was ever at a loss for words. He’d been shot and septic for... God knows how long, and he’d woke, and immediately started talking again, thinking God’s little friggin’ gift to humanity, second to Boone, of course, and letting everyone that he was. He’d just been tortured by ‘a damn spinal surgeon, and a genuine Iraqi’ and was ‘tied to a tree in the jungle of mystery’ and was still talking. And now, when words seemed to matter the most, he couldn’t come up with anything to say. Damn him.


“You what?” Kate prodded helpfully, and Sawyer glared at her. “Sorry,” she amended. “But...” She found herself at a loss of words, and watched Sawyer struggle with his own words helplessly, before deciding to try again. Hmm, she did believe she’d done this a few times before way back when, when she was a schoolgirl?

“Dammit, Sawyer,” Kate breathed. “Why are you sorry? What have you got to be sorry for? You’re on a beautiful tropical island with polar bears to shoot, mysteries to solve, mangoes to eat, and about half a dozen girls more or less at your beck and call, and one that may even love you.” Kate clapped a hand over her mouth, but smiled beneath it grimly. She had been talking so fast, she hadn’t even been aware of what she was saying. She should have known that her feelings would come out this way, she was sure she’d never done anything gracefully in her life, and, well, here it was.

Sawyer stared at her for what seemed like forever in shock, before regaining his composure, his dimples, and his pose. “I always knew Claire had the hots for me.”

Kate rolled her eyes, not sure how to react. Couldn’t he just act normal, not brush everything off as a joke? She was a serious as death. “Sawyer, I hope for your sake you know I’m not talking about Claire.”

Sawyer continued to play stupid, which Kate thought he wouldn’t find to hard, but she didn’t miss the wary, untrusting look in his eyes. As though all he wanted was to believe her, but he wasn’t sure if he should. “Not Claire? Damn, there aren’t any other hot girls on the island. Oh, wait, it must be Ana-Lulu that has hidden feelings for me?”

Kate sighed, stepping forward resting on hand on her hip, and the other on his shoulder. “Okay, Sawyer, here’s how it works. Behind door number 1, Claire. Behind door number 2, Ana-Lucia. Behind door number 3, me. Which one do you think is the mystery woman?”

Sawyer feigned deep thinking, before nervously stepping closer. “I pick door number three. God, Kate, I hope it’s you.”

Kate was a little surprised he actually called her Kate, but didn’t let that get in the way of her rising happiness. “You’ve picked the hundred dollar choice, Sawyer. The worst of the three choices. What are you gonna do with your prize, trade it for the chance to pick again, or keep it?”

Sawyer smiled secretively. “As much as I hate to damage the prize, I think I’m gonna keep it.”

*********

ONE SHOULD never tell a fat man a secret, no matter how good an idea it seemed at the time.
If there was one thing Charlie had learned on the island, it was this.

Word of the whole thing, Claire, the reel, Sawyer, Aaron, everything had gotten around when Jack had asked Hurley to take over the red eye shift. Of course, he knew how Hurley had gotten the information because, well, Hurley had spread that around to.

And now, everyone knew.

The sun had set long ago, leaving them in semi-darkness, only modulated by the many fires spread across the camp. Everyone, it seemed was running around in a hurry, jumping from one circle of light to another, spreading rumors, gossip, lies, and theories.

Once, a long time ago, he’d read a book with pictures of animals in funny positions, with goofy sayings beside the picture that matched the animal and it’s position. In it, it had mentioned something about ‘When all around you are losing their heads, it’s always in your best interest to lose your’s to.’

At the time, to Charlie, it had just seemed to be what it had been meant to be, some funny, stupid little joke in some funny, stupid little book. But now, it made sense.

But now, the more he thought about it, the more sense it made. But no, Charlie decided, he always seemed to be the one to lose his head, now, when everyone else was panicking around him, he’d just stay calm.

The ocean was rough in front of him, and Charlie wondered what that meant. Was it the dawning of a new day, or something? Of a new time? A new era? Was it some kind of omen, and if so, was it good or bad?

Regardless, Charlie was mesmerized. The rhythmic crashing of the waves against the beach seemed to represent all the stableness he’d never had in his life, and the pure danger of the darkness around the white capped ocean drew him towards it. But not this time, not when it seemed to offer salvation, would Charlie go for it.

Few spared Charlie a passing glance, and even fewer actually stopped to study him. Just a sad, hunched over figure, sitting in the sand, waiting for their rescue. But Rose did. Her motherly instinct was kicking in again, even though after helping Claire, she would have thought she would need a break. Rose grinned wryly, walking slowly towards Charlie. Who was she kidding? Mothers never got breaks.

“Charlie?” Rose said softly, sitting down next to him.

Charlie turned towards, stared at her for a moment, and turned back to the sea, nodding almost imperceptibly. Rose, however noticed and nodded back, settling down into the sand.

And so they sat, Charlie and Rose, watching the angry ocean clash against the soothing beach, shouts and laughter echoing around them.

**********

THEY HAD stood there, for once content to do just that, for what seemed like ages. Sawyer and Kate, Kate and Sawyer. For once, they were one, they were at peace. They had, somewhat, just proclaimed there love for one another, in that weird, twisted bantering way they had, and they were just happy. Just happy to be.

Then they’d started walking, talking like old friends. Baring their souls, but keeping their secrets. They’d found themselves off the road, and Sawyer figured that they needed to find the road before they couldn’t see their hand in front of their faces, and had made their way back to the road.

“You two left hours ago, what have you been doing?” Sawyer groaned, drooping slightly, as Jack came briskly into view, as Kate squinched her eyes shut, feeling as though she was awakening from a dream to harsh reality.

“We were, uh...” Sawyer looked towards Kate for help, which sent shivers up her spine. Sawyer looking to her, for help. First off, he never asked anyone for help, and secondly, they actually had something to hide this time. But she was much to muddled to help. She contributed with “Uh...”

“We just started theorizin’ about that reel of yours, and I guess time just caught up on us. As for you, Doc, weren’t you alone in there with Mr. Reiss?” Sawyer was tickled pink when Jack blushed, and Kate snickered softly, but immediately fell back into her old peace-maker mode, earning a half-hearted glare from Sawyer.

“C’mon, boys. Break it up. We ought to head back to the beach. We need a good night’s rest before watching the video tomorrow.”

“Amen to that,” Jack muttered, setting off at his brisk pace once again down the path, letting Sawyer and Kate dawdle behind, content and together once again.

**********

Chapter 10

“MY GOD,” Kate grumbled, softly. “What’s going on?”

Chaos lay out in front of them, like something you’d see in a movie filled with extras. The forty some odd survivors seemed to multiply to a number closer to four hundred, and they moved, speaking in hushed tones, and shooting suspicious glances at Claire, Aaron, and the other eleven involved.

Sawyer, Kate and Jack stepped lightly, feeling as though they’d were walking amongst the wreckage of the crash once again. The other eight of the group were standing together in a semi circle, with Hurley standing in the middle looking sheepish. It was vaguely clear to the three just arriving what had happened.

“Well, bullpuckey, fellas. What did Jabba do this time?” Sawyer asked, running a hand through his hair as he surveyed the chaotic scene around them. “Is one night of peace to much to ask?”

Jack cleared his throat, and Kate watched in amusement at the look of glee that lit Sawyer’s face when he saw Jack looking guilty.

Everyone else, however, was still confused. “What’s going on?” Libby piped up, and a number of other voices rose in question.

Kate sighed, and found herself explaining. She was tired, she knew Sawyer was tired, and she was pretty sure Jack was tired, so she ought to get it over with as quickly as she could. “Listen up, guys. Chances are most of what you’ve heard isn’t true. Yes, it involves Claire. Yes, it involves Aaron. No, the Others aren’t coming for us at the moment.” Kate was only slightly surprised by the gasp of relief that went through the crowd. If something bad happened on the island, it always seemed that the Others were coming for them, and it wasn’t surprising that the truth had been twisted that way. “No, we won’t be answering anymore questions tonight. We’re gonna sort this out in the morning.”

As if on cue, Jack, Kate and Sawyer all walked off, leaving the crowd gaping behind them, as though shocked the trio could walk off and leave them without any answers like that.
Jack branched off from Kate and Sawyer first, watching them suspiciously as he walked backwards into his tent, leaving them to walk to their tents alone, and together. “‘Night Kate, Sawyer.” Both nodded in reply and dropped their heads, walking side by side.

After talking for so long in the jungle, they couldn’t find anything to say. Only when they got to Kate’s tent, did Kate find any words. He was about to walk off, leaving her at the front of the tent when she stopped him. “Sawyer?”

“Yeah, Freckles?”

“Are you sure you picked the right prize?”

Sawyer grinned at her. Exhaustion and hysteria nearly took over as she had to lean on the tent to keep from fainting. “‘A' course I am.”

This time, Kate had almost entered her tent, when Sawyer stopped her. “Sweetcheeks?”

“Yeah, Sawyer?”

“Good night.”

Kate beamed, and suddenly realized how close he was. Quickly and gracefully closing the short distance, she gently kissed him good night, before stepping into her tent, not bothering to turn around when she said “Good night, Sawyer.” Leaving Sawyer to walk back to his tent dazed and alone, and her to drop to her cot, dazed and alone.

**********

THE NEXT morning dawned bright and beautiful, and Kate was happy to be alive. It was something, she reflected, that on an island like this one really ought to be thankful for more often, but she never seemed to have the time for it before.

But somehow, today was different. Birds were singing, the ocean was beating it’s way into the sand, and everyone was awaking to the happy new dawn.

In the distance, Kate could hear Aaron crying as he awoke, and even that seemed beautiful. As she headed to the water trough with a bottle of water, Sun poked her head out of the tent and her body soon followed, stretching and having an animated conversation with Jin in Korean.

Claire and Aaron soon walked out of the tent, the pretty young mother haloed in light, swaying with the baby in the light as she yawned to the morning.

Kate chugged the first bottle of water in one breath, then leaned against the trough to drink the second bottle full at a more leisurely pace. The ocean was sparkling, sun reflecting off of it, as Claire walked down towards it to give Aaron the only thing he had ever had resembling a bath. Even on an island like this, it seemed like today was the day for great things. God was right in his world, the birds were singing in their trees, Kate was happy... and Sawyer was here.

“What you smilin’ about, Freckles?” Kate beamed at him, and Sawyer was slightly taken aback. In contrast to her, Sawyer, as usual, found nothing special about the day. They were still on a deserted island. They still hadn’t been rescued. They still hadn’t sorted the whole Lillnum Renale, or whatever the hell it was thing out yet. And Kate still wasn’t his. Not that he’d ever admit the latter as being one of his reasons.

But Kate seemed so happy. For a moment, Sawyer took it upon herself to not even listen to what Kate was saying, and just watch her be... Kate. A droplet of water was on her chin, and he had the strangest urge to reach up and wipe it away. Her dark brown curls fell messily around her shoulders, obviously unbrushed but beautiful at the same time. Green eyes sparkled as her nose scrunched up and laughed as she told her story, and Sawyer tuned in to her words just in time to hear her say, “...And besides, why do you need a reason to be happy?”

“Nah, Freckles. I ‘spose you don’t need a reason to be happy.” Kate looked confused that he’d agree with her so easily, and Sawyer laughed at her expression. “Guess we ought to go wake up the Doc and get started on this mess.”

Kate nodded enthusiastically, and Sawyer chuckled, helping her down off the end of the trough.

When they got to Jack’s tent, Kate fully intended to step inside and wake him peacefully, but before she was halfway into the tent, Sawyer solved the problem by hollering, “JACK! WAKEY-WAKEY!”

Even Kate had to swallow laughter as Jack shot up out of bed in surprise, banged his head on the top of the tent, cursed loudly, and then noticed Kate and Sawyer were standing there. He didn’t even bother to scold Sawyer, just went right to the point, a wary sigh leaving his mouth. “What do you two want, and why do you have to get up so early?”

They didn’t bother to answer the first question, but Kate offered Jack a grim smile. “Time to come back to reality D-Jack.” Kate blushed as she nearly used Sawyer’s nickname for Jack, while Sawyer had the look of a proud parent and Jack looked disgruntled. “We have to sort out this Lillium Regale Sea thingy.”

“Oh, yeah.” Jack groaned, and stepped out of the tent, after quickly slipping some other clothes on, blessedly out of Sawyer and Kate’s view. “But first, I think we all need a shower.”

Sawyer looked genuinely frightened. “Doc, I swing alotta way, but that ain’t one of ‘em. Mass showers just aren’t my forte.”

Kate and Jack rolled their eyes simultaneously. “Should we save ourselves a trip,” Kate questioned, “and get the others now, or come back later?”

Again, with that condescending, ‘I-say-it-you-do-it’ tone of voice, Jack sighed as though the answer was obvious. “They’ll never let us take our showers. We’ll come back for them later.”

What with the way he was acting, Kate was surprised he allowed her and Sawyer to be involved in the whole mess at all. Jack had ruined her wonderful, perfect morning with just a look and a few words, and it agitated her even more that he could do that. That she put up with it. So, she didn’t feel the least bit guilty when she didn’t bother to hide her laughter behind her hand when Sawyer started mocking Jack on the way back to the hatch.

Kate called dibs on the first shower even though all three of them noted the fact that there were four showers, and they could therefore shower all at the same time. Like Sawyer had said, mass showers weren’t their forte.

Sawyer had leered at her as she gathered the essentials, after being on an island for so long, for her showers. Strawberry shower gel, lemon shampoo and conditioner, and two nice, fluffy towels. All of this luxury was alien to her, and she had a feeling that she’d be running soon enough, and might as well suck up the luxury why she had it. For once, as Sawyer watched her, she didn’t mind. To see someone look at her made her feel alive, and to see Sawyer watching her made her feel... special? Happy? Feminine? That was it, feminine. It made her realize as much as she acted like one, and as much as she had the same strength and endurance of one, she wasn’t one of the boys. She was a woman, hear her roar.

This chain of thoughts sent her happily off into the shower, only vacantly reminding herself to save some shampoo for Sawyer, and some hot water for the both of them.

**********

WATCHING KATE walk off, hips swinging, in a daze, Sawyer seriously considered rounding up all the clothes on the island and burning them (except for the ones that fit Hurley), so that everyone (except Hurley), would be forced to walk around with only a towel on, or nothing altogether. Sort of like a nude beach, except on this one there were polar bears, the others, a couple of hatches and crashed planes, and a sense of danger.

A new feeling surged inside his body whenever he thought about Kate, different from the butterfly feeling. This one he had trouble naming, different from the butterfly feeling which he knew the name of, but hated to say aloud.

Sitting on the rolley chair at the computer, rolling around absently, he toyed with the idea of asking Jack the name of the feeling, although he didn’t think about it seriously for a second. It’s not like he could go up to Jack and be all, “Um... Jack? Yeah, being a real man unlike me, I was wondering if you could explain something to me. You see, I’m having these feelings about Kate and... Yes, Jack, yes, I know you love her Jack, yes I do. I know you’ll get her in the end, Jack, the hero always does Jack. Could you just answer my question, Jack? Point is, I don’t want to hurt I want to help her. I feel like I can be let her stand on her own, I feel with her like I’ve never felt like anyone before and...” Sawyer paused in his mental monologue with Jack, and some voice, deep inside him whispered, “RESPECT. You respect her, Sawyer. That’s the feeling. YOU RESPECT KATE.”

So he respected her, eh? Sawyer mused over the thoughts for a while, not bothering to question the little voice in his head. He never did.


**********

JACK FELT numb as he slowly made himself a peanut butter and banana sandwich.

He’d never seriously hurt anything bigger then a beetle in his life. Even as a surgeon, all of his patients lived that he worked on alone, and all that had died he had operated on with his father, and it was easy to blame it on him because it was - generally - his fault.

And now, after all this, this island was going to bring him to hurt Aaron? Kill him, actually, Jack reminded himself, and grimaced, swinging into the seat at the table, wondering dryly if they had any milk.

Jack sighed heavily. If he was going to actually get his thoughts organized, he had to work at it, just letting them run through his mind didn’t really work. Since it was the most pressing thought a the moment, he started with the mysteries of the island. He desperately wanted to know it, solve it all, fix it. Okay, he filed that thought away. Next, came the possibility of killing Aaron. That was bad, scary, terrifying. Good, he filed that thought away too, alongside the island’s mysteries.

Jack’s thoughts trailed off course again and he let them go, munching slowly on his sandwich, savoring his old favorite. God, it was gonna be a long day.

**********

FINALLY, AFTER an impossible amount of arguing, fighting, yelling, leering, watching, laughing and showering, Jack, Kate, and Sawyer were ready to face the reel. They trekked down to the beach, rounded up Libby, Ana-Lucia, Mr.Eko, Hurley, Sun, Jin, Sayid, and Locke, and headed them back to the hatch, refusing to answer any questions until they reached it. Once at the hatch, they settled down into the chairs, with Libby leaning on Hurley who appeared to have settled their differences. Even Kate was discreetly close to Sawyer, seeing as they hadn’t really had the chance to settle their differences, with Jack standing at the front of the group, preparing to burst into one of his speeches again. This time, however, Claire and Aaron were there.

Jack cleared his throat, and everyone looked in his direction. “I know we’re all confused, and that were all worried... some of us more then others.” He stopped, glancing at Locke who sat, disgruntled that he had not bee informed of this new change in the saga of the reel immediately. “And some of us are a little pissed, too. But we are gonna work through this together and-”

“So why didn’t you let us tell ‘em before, Jacko?” Drawled a southern voice that was unmistakably Sawyer.

“Didn’t let you?” Jack quickly fell for the bait, oblivious that Sawyer just wanted to fight again. “You weren’t even trying, Sawyer.”

Sawyer made to stand threateningly, but Kate kept him down from her place beside him. “Peace, boys,” she called, feeling more and more like Sawyer and Jack were two 8 year old boys at odds. “Now is not the time for this bullcaesar salad.”

Jack nodded his appreciation for Kate, causing a soft growl to rise in Sawyer’s throat before Jack continued. “As I was saying,” he had to restrain from saying ‘before I was so rudely interrupted,’ “We’re gonna figure this out together. Now, you guys may or may not know, but our...” as Jack searched for a word, Sawyer supplied it, causing Hurley and Libby to curiously but unnoticeably flinch.

“Resident island lunatic, Doc.”

Jack nodded begrudgingly “I suppose you could call Danielle that. But the point is, Danielle said that this reel will lead us to killing Aaron.”

An assortment of reactions rippled through the room. Some nodded knowingly, some looked to Claire and Aaron, and a few others called out in outrage. “Why should we go on Danielle’s word?” bellowed Sayid. Eko was simply watching them all, and Sawyer was gleefully egging them all on.

“Listen up,” Kate growled suddenly, frustrated, causing everyone, even Eko, to look up in surprise. She stood, walking to the front of the group and taking Jack’s place as he sat down in Kate’s place. “We don’t have time for this caesar salad. We’ve got places to go, people to see, things to do. People, to save even. So now, I want you all to shut up, pay attention, and watch this reel, titled, ‘Lillium Regale.’”

As Locke, who was supposed to run the projector, was still gaping at Kate who usually a bit more mild mannered then this, she started cursing under her breath and fumbling with the projector, before retreating to the back of the room. She was surprised to find Sawyer back there, waiting for her, and smiled up at him softly. “We’ll talk later,” he muttered.

Slowly, the projector flickered to life, the low hum accompanying the opening music of the reel. A black background appeared on the screen, with the worlds ‘THE DHARMA INITIATIVE’ on it in bold, white, underlined print. Below that, in the same print, it read ‘1 OF ?’ and even further below that, ‘ORIENTATION’. The screen hesitated on this screen awhile, before changing to a black background with the Dharma Initiative on it, although different from their Dharma Initiative, which bore a swan, and different from the tail end’s initiative, which bore an arrow, on this one there was on a single flower in the center. Below that, in the same white print, it read ‘ORIENTATION - MISSION ONE - SEA OF LILIUM REGALE’. The screen spazzed a few times, going blank and then flickering back, threatening to end there, until the haunting music stopped, and the screen changed. Now, it showed Dr. Marvin Candle, standing at the beach, hands holding each other in front of him. He was dressed in his usual attire, black slacks, a brown coat over a white sweater despite the tropical heat, looking tired, and sad, as though he had the weight of the world on his shoulders as usual.

“Hello,” he said. “I’m Dr. Mark Wickman, and this is your orientation film for your first mission, The Sea of Lilium Regale. We know this is not your first Orientation video, for we are sure Calvin and Desmond had the decency to show you the first. Good men they are.” He stopped, looking slightly wistful, before starting to walk towards the tree line, the camera going blindly backwards. “We cannot answer the many questions we know you have, and we cannot help you solve the mystery of the island. However, we can bring up new questions now, that we know you would otherwise encounter later, and answer them now.” By this point, he had reached the trees, had drawn a compass out of his pocket, had flipped it open, and continued talking as the camera centered in on it. They were pointing due west. “On your first mission, you will need to find the Sea of Lilium Regale. All we can tell you about finding your way there is to follow the trees as far west as you can, head two miles straight into the jungle, and then walk straight east until you encounter it. You will know it when you see it, considering if you follow my directions precisely, you will be forced to walk straight through it. You will be safe there, safer then you ever were in the Swan Station, or on the beach.” The camera turned back to his face as he tucked the compass back into his pocket, and began walking once again towards the water.

“As to what to do when you find the Sea of Lilium Regale, it will be somewhat evident what the first thing you need to do is when you get there. We are well aware of what dangers and obstacles you will encounter, along with the unimaginable rewards you shall receive. However, once you have taken care of the most demanding problem, your second task is less evident. You must find The Lilium Regale hatch.”

By now he had reached the water, and stood, seeming to wait. “On behalf of the DeGroots, Alvar Hanso, the Ogdens, and all of us here at the Dharma Initiative, thank you. On your mission be wise, wary, and watchful, and good luck.”

The screen changed back to a black background with the words ‘© The Hanso Foundation, 1980 All Rights Reserved’ printed on it, using the same font as they had about. The screen went blank, and Locke got up silently to turn off the projector.

**********

Chapter 11

“THAT WAS a bit anti-climatic.” murmured Sawyer. Kate rose an eyebrow in combined agreement and scolding. They’d all been just sitting there in silence since Locke had once again taken his seat.

Suddenly, Sun’s eyes widened to the size of dish pans, and she started whispering frantically in Jin’s ear in Korean. At first he looked confused, then he nodded, slowly quickening the pace of his nodding until he was nearly jumping up and down in what appeared to be horror. Once she was done, they shared a quick look before Jin quickly responded into her ear and she shook her head, looking even more horrified then before. He nodded, encouragingly, and she shyly stood up, quickly crossing towards Jack. Everyone had been watching these goings on in a mixture of horror - all thinking 'how could this possibly get any worse?' - and amusement at the young Korean couples’ antics. Sun made to whisper into Jack’s ear this time, but Ana-Lucia cleared her throat angrily. Sun looked to the group for encouragement and when Libby smiled warmly, Sun took a deep breath.

“Remember the note Dharma dropped, and how it translated out? It said something about how only eleven people could watch this reel, and it knew which eleven people we would pick, and which eleven people they would pick, and luckily they were one and the same. And, well, there’s thirteen of us, counting Aaron.”

Sun waited patiently as everyone did a silent head count of the people in the room, and then as the all almost simultaneously groaned. “What does it matter, anyway?” Ana-Lucia growled. “I mean, we’re just going on this stupid note that was left in some stupid wreckage, that we’re not even sure is from Dharma, or if we deciphered it right.”

“Deciphered it right?” Sayid replied, offended. “Of course we deciphered it right. What are the chances of that note having two, completely different, sensible messages. Zero to none, I’d say.”

It was about then that Claire flew off the handle. “MY GOD, DO YOU PEOPLE NOT REALIZE THE.... INTENSITY OF THIS SITUATION?” Kate immediately jumped to her side, calmly rubbing her back; then thinking better of it, carefully taking Aaron from the stressed-out mothers’ arms, just as she started waving her arms around and pacing around the room. “These... these... people are threatening to kill my son, and all you guys care about is that thirteen goddamn people watched the video instead of eleven?!?! What happened to your sense of priority? Did you guys lose it in the plane crash, or what? From what I can tell for the past... past... month we’ve been sitting in this metal cage, pushing a button on a doomsday computer every one hundred and eight minutes, not even bothering to question it! Did it ever occur to you people that maybe, just maybe there’s no such thing as Dharma all together? That nothing happens if you don’t push that goddamn button every goddamn one hundred and eight minutes? Nothing? That is whole sh*tty Sea of Flowers or whatever thing is just a fools errand?! A goose chase?! Did it ever occur to you people that you’re just leading us all to our deaths?” Tears were streaking down her cheeks by the time Claire had finished her bellowed speech, and she suddenly dropped to the floor. Everyone watched the whole thing in a state of astonishment that was, frankly, getting redundant, only Libby and Kate keeping their wits about them. Kate made to help Claire up, then realized she was still holding Aaron, and turned her eyes towards the group helplessly. Libby ran to Claire’s side, and quickly listened for her breath, then tried to wake her. “She's fainted.”

This announcement had no effect on the company, for they were already to astonished to become even more astonished by the sweet mild little Aussie imploding. So they all stood there, feeling stupid and useless.

Looking back on the whole thing, Sawyer couldn’t be sure who started laughing first, though he supposes it was Hurley. The absurdity of the situation slowly started to sink in, and someone started to chuckle. Most disapproved at first, and let the original chuckl-er rise to a level of roaring laughter before realizing what was so funny. Sawyer knows he started next, laughing, for the first time he had in years. In a matter of moments everyone there who wasn’t either unconscious or too young to get the joke was rolling, laughing on the floor, tears running down they’re eyes. Later, Kate deemed it hysteria, although Sawyer insists it was just simply funny.

**********

THEIR LAUGHTER stopped much later. Again they sat for a bit in silence, reflecting on the fact that this probably meant that they were all going crazy as their eyes slowly, one at a time, drifted to Claire, still quite unconscious on the floor.

“Jack,” Eko started, the first time he had talked in the group. “I think we need to wake Claire up. How do you wake someone when they have fainted?”

Jack looked up, as though astonished that anyone but him would feel they had the authority to break the ice; therefore his voice sounded snappish. “You don’t. She has to wake up on her own. We need to move her to the bunk bed, and plan what to do.”

He looked around the room, as though waiting for someone to volunteer to carry Claire, as Kate shifted Aaron - who was sleeping soundly - under Jack’s wary gaze. “Well damn it all!” Sawyer grumbled, surprising Aaron out of sleep as Kate jumped. “I am the only gentleman on the island!” Kate started laughing again the absurdity of the whole idea, but quickly stopped as she realized no one else found it funny.

With that Sawyer quickly walked over to Claire, scooped her up as though she weigh nothing more then ten pounds, and carried her quickly into the room where he had slept; fitfully septic. By the time he got back, they were all sick of being shocked. The solution was to expect the unexpected, and that was what they intended to do.

“So, Robin Hood,” Sawyer said, returning from laying Claire gently on the bunk. “Where will you and your Merry Men be heading to next?”

Jack smiled grimly; he’d gotten to a point where he simply ignored Sawyer and his nicknames altogether. “We’re not going anywhere. Claire was right, this is a fool’s errand, drawing us out. Why should we go on this mission? And risk Aaron’s life? What do we get out of this deal, ‘cause all I see is benefit for Dharma.”

“Dharma? All you care about is Dharma, Jack. At least, that’s what it seems like.” Hurley spoke up, and everyone would have looked at him in surprise if they hadn’t all ready vowed to themselves that they would expect the unexpected. “What ever happened to figuring all this out? What happened to being safe? What about getting off the island, Jack? Whatever happened to that, Jack? When we first crashed, all anyone could think about was getting out of this hole, and now it’s like everyone’s given up. The hatches have some sort of technology isn't that a good sign? For chrissakes, I found Twinkies in the pantry! Twinkies! In the pantry! So if, if we keep looking, we’ll find a working radio or something. Anything. Maybe we can get the computer work. Maybe we can find a whole new computer we could... We could go on Neopets, for all we know! Maybe this island has wi-fi! We can contact the outside, guys. I know we can.”

Eko sat up in interest. All of this before, it had all been stalling. It was like purgatory, the two months before this exact moment. Off the island, they had been alive, but waiting. There was no point to there lives until they'd boarded the plance, Oceanic flight 815. Then, as soon as the island crashed, they’d fallen into a more comatose state of purgatory - the space between life and something else, something better. Each and every one of them were here for a God-given reason, and each and every moment before this - even if they were spent in something as seemingly useless as purgatory, meant something. Now, though, it all hung in the balance. Now, the stakes were raised, and every step they took; every word they said mattered more then any of them could possibly imagine.

Jack hesitated, opening his mouth as though to object, but Kate stopped him with a withering glance. He sighed, begrudgingly; then nodded slowly. “Fine, Hurley. We should go, Claire too, but that poses a problem. We can’t take Aaron away from Claire mainly because he’d starve, and it’s to early anyway. But Claire should come, on the other hand, even though it’s stupid to take a lady and her new born son trekking through the jungle.”

"In case you haven't noticed, Doc," Sawyer pointed out, "we've been doing a lot of stupid things lately anyway - one more won't matter."

Sayid spoke up. “She should decide for herself what she wants to do.”

Jack nodded slowly, having to close his eyes to keep from rolling them. Since when did Sayid become the president of the island? Who in God’s name voted him in? “Fine, fine she will. But she needs to decide by dawn tomorrow, that’s when we leave. That’ll give all of us time to make our decisions and,” here Jack’s eyes rested suspiciously on Sawyer. “Get what we need.”

Kate groaned softly, and seeing as Sawyer didn’t seem to get the point at all, quickly dragged out of the airlock and into the jungle, the rest of the group trickling out in pairs or trios, talking excitedly about the latest news.

Kate couldn’t tell whether she desperately wanted to talk about what was going on between them, or if she desperately didn’t. Fortunately, the decision was made for. Somehow, she couldn’t see Sawyer as an emotional talker-type person, even if he really was in love. He was more of a hit-and-run person. Sawyer, she knew, was made for one-night stands. Besides, they were both slightly distracted by the whole trek-through-the-jungle-to-another-Dharma-outpost thing. Yeah, that was distracting.

“Sawyer, are you really oblivious to what all this means?” Kate ventured slowly, turning to watch him, and nearly running into a tree. Luckily, though, Sawyer didn’t notice. She’d been so wrapped up in her thoughts, she’d thought herself back on the streets, running. Kate had never thought about it before, but she knew now why everything on this island seemed a lot more natural to her then it did to anyone else. She was used to running, for fighting for her life. That was why she was attracted to Sawyer, too, she mused. He was the only one even close to getting all this... Although at the moment he wasn’t getting much of anything.

“All this means? As in, like... us?” Kate sighed, and when he looked slightly distraught, smiled warmly. She sighed deeply. Men.

“Not us, Sawyer. Now’s not the time for us. Think about what’s going on, do you really think we have time for us? Now, think about this. Jack said that- ”

“Jack this, Jack that. What’s so great about old Superman, anyway? He thinks he’s all that and a bag of chips, and now he’s going making all these life-or-death decisions about our lives without consulting the rest of us. What’s up with Jack, anyway?”

Kate couldn’t decide if she should be amused or a bit worried. Had Charlie been hiding his heroin securely lately? She kept her patient tone of voice, though her words grew harsher, angrier. “Just shut-up and listen for once, Sawyer. Think about it, the way he looked at you when he said ‘Get what we need.’ Ring any bells, Sawyer? Any alarms going off, Sawyer? Any red flags going up? Or do only women have those?”

It seemed to click all at once as he stopped their slow, rambling progress towards the beach, and whirled around to face Kate. “What the hell does he need the damn guns for?”

She was truly worried now. He wasn’t thinking straight. Something was the matter. He was being irrational. Not that he wasn't usually irrational - he was irrational most of the time - just not this irrational. “Sawyer,” she said slowly. “What’s the matter, what’s going on?”

Sawyer shook his head fiercely, continuing his confused rambling, though starting to walk again towards the beach. He didn’t even notice when Kate slid underneath his arm to support him, afraid he would fall. “Nothing... Nothing’s the matter, Kate. I guess it was just... Nothing.”

"Damn it, Sawyer. What’s going on with you? Jack wants the guns! And he...” she stopped, watching him as it all sunk in, and he appeared to see his surroundings again. Them leaning against each other, the worried look glinting in her green eyes, and he stepped away harshly. She trailed off, “He won’t stop anywhere to get them, you know that. I can't stop him every time.”

Sawyer nodded slowly, and Kate was relieved to see the normal Sawyer was back. Or, at least, as normal as he ever would be. “He can send Apu and his bamboo-sticks-of-death after me as often as he wants. He ain’t gettin’ the damn guns.”

Sawyer watched Kate groan, putting a hand to her head, obviously disgusted. He smirked, waiting ‘til she asked - she would ask, he knew. Suddenly he was startled to realize they were walking - where the hell had they been? - heading towards the beach. His head throbbed with every step he took and his eyes glazed like the mother of all hangovers. It was a miracle he was walking, much less talking.

“You’re not going to give us the guns? Sawyer, we really need the guns. Are you willing to put everyone in danger just so you can hold some slightly righteous but pointless grudge against Jack? You know, the whole torture thing was every bit as much your fault as it was Jack and Sayid’s. Why don’t you just try sometimes, Sawyer? You’re such an ass!” She was stumbling over her words, sometimes saying the completely wrong words altogether and having to back track to fix the damage. What was going on? But they were both pulling a Kate on the more pressing problem, running from it, covering it up with other problems. They were letting the hysteria sink in far too deeply. They were stressed, and their senses were overloading - Sawyer's especially. For some reason, his walls had fallen down, and Kate saw the real James Ford as he was naked to the real world.

“I didn’t say I wasn’t giving the guns to the rest of you, Freckles,” Sawyer said solemnly. A look of real shock crossed Kate’s face, and for a moment Sawyer just stared. Everything she seemed to put on was always a show, a mask, and he could never tell if it was real or not. This was the only emotion she’d ever shown to him that he was sure was what she was really feeling. Shock. Surprise. Astonishment.

“Not giving the guns to Jack?” Kate repeated. “That’s crazy! To give the guns to the rest of us and not one to Jack is like... like... walking up and going, ‘Hey, why don’t you torture me within an inch of my life? And then, you can beat me to a pulp, dunk me in the ocean, and give me to the Others? Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?’ It’s suicide, Sawyer! Suicide! After I’ve tried so hard to save you, you’re gonna go and do this?”

Kate’s words struck a nerve, and Sawyer stopped walking altogether, leaving Kate to walk a few steps ahead of him before realizing he’d stopped. “What?”she said softly, afraid of the answer.

“You weren’t trying to hard to save me when Sayid was poking with those stupid sticks. And all I asked was that you kiss me - was that too much? Are you that much in love with Superman that you’d let them torture me for no reason? If you’ll recall, I didn’t even have the damn inhalers! God knows I could have, should have, asked for more, but I let you keep your pride and me my fantasy.”

Kate watched in astonishment as Sawyer stalked off towards the beach, still endearingly woozy and swaying slightly. She wasn’t sure how she should feel. Alarmed? Amused? Worried? Or, God help her, flattered? A smart comeback about being his fantasy drifted on her lips, but she didn’t set it free. Not here, not now. So, silently, Kate stood, blinking rapidly, and started to count. One... two... three... four... five... It disgusted her that she had to fall back on Jack’s advice in an argument with Sawyer, but if Jack was their saving grace, so be it. As long as he was never her lover.

She sighed, deeply, and set off after him, carefully behind him so she couldn’t see him. The last thing she need to do right now was watch him, when that was all she wanted to do so much of the time. Kate hadn’t taken four steps before she’d made up her mind. She was going to apologize, because it was true. She hadn’t tried to save him, that one time. And she was sorry for that, because she so easily could have. Jack was so in love then - so pathetically at her mercy. But the most important thing was, at the moment, figuring all this out. Rescuing who needed to be rescued, saving who needed to be saved, killing who needed to be killed and getting the guns.

To Be Continued

Apparently, Sawyer slowed down to an inching pace, because Kate soon found herself easily catching up with him. She felt like she was on a sugar-high of some sort, and could feel her body threatening to crash and burn soon if she couldn’t get herself laid down, resting, and sorting all this out. Sawyer, apparently, had already hit his low. His high had long past.

So, she silently slipped beneath Sawyer’s arm, and lead him back towards camp. He was bewildered, trying to keep his pride, and muttering about how that goddamn woman, (presumably Kate), just didnt get him. About hoe she had no feelings. Twice, he seemed to look down, realize she was there, recognzie her, and clam up. Twice, he forgot she was there, and started the whole process again. Kate took this all lightly, soaking it up like a sponge, not really listening but storing it in the back of her brain to cry over later. Here she was, almost dragging this man twice her size through the jungle, and he thought she had no feelings? Eat this, Mr. Sawyer.

By the time they’d reached the beach, Kate’s low had come. They both stumbled separately into Sawyer’s tent, neither really paying any attention to their surroundings. Sawyer stumbled onto his cot, and Kate simply collapsed onto the ground. Out of old habit, and his subconsciousness, Sawyer mumbled, “Night, Kate.”

Kate nodded slowly, stretching out on the sand and grabbing a blanket from Sawyer’s stash, neither bothering to undress in any form. “Night, Sawyer.” Before their heads even hit the ground, they were asleep.

**********

SAWYER AWOKE first, two hours later. It was close to noon, around ten or eleven, and he was just getting up. Good Lord, he hadn't slept this late in years. Putting a hand to his head which was about to implode with the mother of all hangovers - although he couldn't quite recall drinking anything, like Jacko would even consider letting him at some alcohol - he sat up wearily on his cot. The sun shined, annoyingly bright, into the tent, but was blocked momentarily by something passing by. Sawyer blinked in relief at the shade before opening his eyes to see what exactly this thing was. Sun stood, blocking the sun at the front flap of Sawyer's tent, Aaron cradled delicatley in her arms.

"Good to see you're awake, Sawyer. Claire's still out of it though, as is," Sun looked down, "Kate, apparently. You'd best wake her up. Jack's tunnel vision mind is on the guns, Sawyer, and