well the start at least. ENJOY

1
Betrayal


The Will of Iron, a black dagger in the cold vacuum of space docked above the newly compliant world of Guryda IV, a cruel campaign thought Iron-Captain Mattyas Ferritus. The campaign took a year and a half to complete. The Gurydians were at first willing to accept Imperial law and rule, however this changed. A group of Gurydian terrorists assassinated an unarmed and unarmoured 1st Iron-Captain Darieus Menatilus while on a diplomatic mission to the planets capital of Drigum. This murder had provoked all out war from the great primarch Ferrus Manus.
Mattyas as 2nd Iron-Captain was put in second commander within the legion during this campaign being personally led by his primarch. His company had earned much honour in this campaign. He personally saved his dear primarchs life, when his lord was surrounded by a mob of the planet’s king’s personal bodyguard. They were armed with a weapon close to the strength of a bolter and armoured in something crudely fashioned but strong. Mattyas took a near suicidal jump from a nearby building to save his lord. He had been offered the place of 1st Iron-Captain but he declined it saying that it was only duty and that his place was with his men.
But a few days ago the primarch had received a communication from his brother-primarch Fulgrim of the III legion. Fulgrim had requested a meeting with Ferrus and it had been granted. The Iron Hands now only stayed at this planet to wait for Fulgrim. After the meeting they were going to rendezvous with the 14th expedition and continue the crusade in the Emperor’s name.
“Mattyas, the primarch has requested your presence at his private quarters.” Informed the voice of Mattyas’ good friend Frugien over the vox-link in the collar of Mattyas’ black robes. “Okay Frugien, I’ll arm then I’ll go to his chambers.
The walk from Mattyas’ quarters to Ferrus Manus’ personal chambers was a short one. In fact, it was just up one level of the Will of Iron. Mattyas arrived in full battle plate except for his mark III helm. He knocked on the steel door. “Enter.” Ordered the commanding voice of Ferrus Manus.
Ferrus Manus, primarch of the X legion, was about average height, for a primarch. His head was shaven and he had dark brown eyes. His looked at the same time venerable but young. Wise but then ignorant. He was well muscled and had broad shoulders. His lower arms were covered in a ‘living’ metal. It seemed to moved across the surface of his arm. He had acquired the metal after combat with a metal wyrm on the legion’s home planet of Medusa. He wore a black robe with the legion’s symbol on the chest. Stitched in silver material.
“Welcome, Captain Mattyas I’ve heard good things about you.” Said an elegant and soft voice. Mattyas turned and bowed as he saw before him the primarch of the III legion, Fulgrim.

A good start, looking forward to seeing more. :)

i'll try and get some up for next weekend, but got exams next weeks so we'll see.

Sounds great, I'm looking forward to the next instalment! :lol:

Good stuff. Keep it up. :)

done a bit more, Doghouse i hope you don't mind me using the name of your Night Lords captain, if you do ill change it no probs.

“Welcome, Captain Mattyas I’ve heard good things about you.” Said an elegant and soft voice. Mattyas turned and bowed as he saw before him the primarch of the III legion, Fulgrim. “Lord Fulgrim, what an honour it is to meet you.” Replied Mattyas. “Lets keep this meeting informal, no pleasantries.” Asked Fulgrim. The remark receiving a nod from Ferrus Manus. Fulgrim’s armour was purple - just. It was covered in gold ornamentation all over and there were foot long parchments hanging from his shoulder guards. His left shoulder sporting a long eagle wing forming into a two-pronged claw on the guard. His face was elegant and young looking. Although white to the point of albinism. His face was framed by pure white hair reaching his shoulders and upper back.
“So then Fulgrim why did you request a meeting with me and my senior officer here?” questioned Ferrus Manus with a slight look of mystery on his face. “I am here on the bidding of the Warmaster.” Replied Fulgrim.
“So what does Horus want now then? Sending me to another hostile system? Come on Fulgrim don’t keep me guessing.”
“The Warmaster has sent me here to offer you a place in a new undertaking, a new crusade if you will. One of much more deserving loyalty.”
“I’m already on the Emperor’s crusade, why should I split my legion for two crusades?” replied Ferrus with a hint of bewilderment on his face.
“ The Warmaster is asking you to leave the Emperor’s crusade and join him.”
“Join him in what? Fulgrim.” Asked Ferrus nervously.
“Horus has discovered that the Emperor is planning to betray us. He is setting out to dethrone the Emperor and rid the galaxy of his tyranny. From the ashes of his so called…” Fulgrim never finished. He hit the floor the other side of the room. His nose was gushing with blood. Ferrus moved across to him enraged. Fulgrim’s face portrayed a stat of shock “Emperor’s Children help, I’ve been betrayed.” Shouted Fulgrim. Mattyas drew his power sword and unslung his storm shield and prepared for combat. “Squads Marlock and Santar, the primarch is under attack. Converge on my position.” Ordered Mattyas, over the vox. “Yes Iron-Captain.” Was the reply.
“Ferrus, your making a mistake. Even the Mechanicum of Mars had pledged their allegiance to Horus.” Persuaded Fulgrim.
“You may betray the Emperor, as well as the damned Mechanicum. But I shall never betray my lord, that is true loyalty Fulgrim!” Shouted Ferrus. Suddenly Fulgrim’s bodyguard burst it the room. “Open fire!” commanded Fulgrim. Mattyas leaped in front of his lord and protected him with his broad shield. The impact of the masses of bolter shells pushing Mattyas back. Fulgrim’s guard moved toward Fulgrim, they moved around him in circle formation to better protect him. Fulgrim drew his sword. Shoving aside his guard, Fulgrim ran at Ferrus he brought his broadsword down, Mattyas pulled his arm across to protect his primarch. Fulgrim’s blade severed Mattyas’ arm at the elbow. He grunted in pain and fell to the floor. Ferrus replied with an uppercut to Fulgrim’s jaw sending him flying through the air.
“Retreat, children of the Emperor, back to the Pride of the Emperor.” Ordered Fulgrim with a detectable hint of worry in his voice. As Fulgrim and his unit ran out of the room, the hulking forms of Terminator squads Marlock and Santar appeared down the end of the corridor. “Open fire, don’t let the traitorous snake escape.” Commanded Ferrus with anger. The two Terminator squads immediately obeyed. Their bolter shells flying down the corridor cutting down two members of Fulgrim’s unit and one bolt hammering through Fulgrim’s shoulder. Fulgrim grunted in pain and his bodyguard helped him balance. They then continued down the corridor.

*

Captain Lasiurus Artibeus of the Night Lords walked the grim corridors of the Fear’s Blade, he walked briskly and with purpose.

Awesome! ^_^

Excellent stuff mate! :)
I've got no problem with you using my NL Captain for your story.
Just imagine the King of the Spartans from 300 in Power Armour for inspiration screaming "We have come for you!"
And he's a Terran so isn't pale skinned like the others. ;)

Now there's an idea.... :ph43r:

I have to agree, AWESOME !!

Do more, GO GO GO.

thanks for the cool comments guys heres the last part of chapter 1

*

Captain Lasiurus Artibeus of the Night Lords walked the grim corridors of the Fear’s Blade; he walked briskly and with purpose. Lasiurus moved down the corridor of the battle barge. The candles along the walls dimly lighting his way. The shadows flickered of the wall creating the sense of being followed. Lasiurus came to an abrupt halt and hammered his fist on the door. A smallish remembrancer answered the door. “Captain Artibeus, how could I help you?” questioned the remembrancer.
“May I come in?” replied the harsh voice of the dwarfing astartes.
“Yes of course.” The remembrancer moved aside giving enough room for the astartes to duck through the lowered arch. “No what seems to be the problem?” asked the remembrancer with a puzzled look on his face. “Bad business, I’m afraid.” Lasiurus drew his sword. Receiving a fearful look from the remembrancer who was now shuffling into the corner of the room. “Remembracer Harkius, you have been charged with crimes against the Warmaster and the glorious primarch Night Haunter. The only punishment for such crimes is death.” Informed Lasiurus with a force of command in his voice. “But I have only ever served the Emperor and the Imperium faithfully.” Replied the whimpering Harkius.
“That,” replied Lasiurus with a cold smile across his face “Is your crime.” Lasiurus swung his sword across the neck of Harkius sending his head rolling with a fountain of blood. “For the Warmaster. The new Emperor of Mankind.” Said Lasiurus, quietly to himself.

lucky you double update!


2
Failed Communications


Ferrus Manus paced across the command bridge, only just keeping his rage in check. “Astropath, have you made contact with Terra yet?” screamed Ferrus.
“No, my lord, the warp has been darkened suddenly. It is near impossible to send a message. Another legion could be contacting us as we speak and we would not know. For all intensive purposes the Imperium is blind.” Informed the legion’s chief Astropath Vfreid. Ferrus grunted in frustration and stormed out. Mattyas followed him. “Keep trying to contact Terra.” He shouted back.
Mattyas followed Ferrus down the hallway and into the practise cages. Mattyas just sat and watch his primarch vent his fury. “Maximum lethality, danger setting Alpha-Omega.” Ordered Ferrus. He had just set the most difficult and lethal of all the practice regimes. All but the most skilled astartes and the primarchs could complete it.
Mattyas thought back to his test of the level. He had almost lost his life and came away with many new scars. He looked at his new servo-arm. It had just been replaced and felt alien to him. The light dimly flickered off its gunmetal colour. Now: I am a step closer to being like him, thought Mattyas. He sat and watched in awe as he saw his primarch batter and rip apart servo-dummy after servo-dummy, this was intense training he thought.
Hours later, Iron Father Frugien Ignetos of the 2nd company entered the huge theatre. “Honour Brother, any news from Terra?” questioned Mattyas.
“Yes, my old friend, but it doesn’t make for good reading.” Replied Frugien in a grim tone. Frugien had been Mattyas’ friend for an age.
They had been good friends since before the Emperor had brought the light to their home world, Medusa. They had both been about five summers old when the primarch had crashed in the mountains of Medusa. They had been fifteen when the Emperor had arrived and brought the crusade with him. As time had moved on they because inseparable pair within the legion. So when Mattyas became 2nd Captain he took Frugien as his Iron Father, who was his companies Techmarine and Chaplain. In due course they became Honour Brothers, a pact of brotherhood forged in the fires of battle. They had taken each other’s gauntlet and etched in the Imperial Aquila as prove of their pact. Mattyas counted Frugien as his staunchest ally within the legion. He trusted him like no other.

Doghouse, your captain, is he more loyal to the Emperor of Horus? i.e is he traitor or loyalist.

Sounding awesome at the moment. Really very good!

Cant wait to read more!


Peace

Hmmm, tricky one that. He's loyal to the Night Lords.
The Night Lords were accused of genocide just before the Heresy kicked off and would have been dealt with by the Imperial forces had it not been for Isstvan III.
They sided with the Traitors so Artibeus would have gone along with that without questioning his Primarch.
He is driven purely by duty to his Legion and he executed that duty in the name of the Imperium without remorse or emotion.
Kind of like a cop going too far, I can justify beating this suspect near to death if it serves justice and sets an example to others if you see what I mean?
At the time of the Heresy he would have just swopped his logic from "In to the name of the Emperor!" to "In the name of the Warmaster!"

Story is coming along great! Keep it up. :)

Wow this is awesome! :D

Cant wait to read more.

Sorry for taking so long heres a bit more.


*
“My Lord, the deed has been done.” Informed Lasiurus. He stood before the ‘loyal’ captains of the VIII legion and his beloved primarch. He was here, as were the others, because he would follow his lord into the warp and back, he would do his lord’s bidding without question. His lord, Night Haunter.
“Well done, my sons.” said the dark, brooding voice of the Haunter. “Now those writers are dead, we can prove our loyalty to the Warmaster and his new order. The Emperor betrayed me and the other legions on his path to godhood. So now I shall take one of his precious worlds from him. Our target is Nostramo. Our home world.” The attending warriors didn’t even flinch at the sound of this dark order. “We shall blast it from existence.” Continued Night Haunter. “The hole in the crust made by my arrival is its only weak point. This is where the guns will aim for. Nostramo will cease to exist.” The room was silent.
“Your will.” Was the reply from 1st Captain Kul-Bazroth.


i know its not much but exams revision and coursework, need i say more...

Awesome just awesome B)

That is kicass

I've added a bit to the first chapter:

1


The Will of Iron, a black dagger in the cold vacuum of space docked above the newly compliant world of Guryda IV, a cruel campaign thought Iron-Captain Mattyas Ferritus. The campaign took a year and a half to complete. The Gurydians were at first willing to accept Imperial law and rule, however this changed. A group of Gurydian terrorists assassinated an unarmed and unarmoured 1st Iron-Captain Darieus Menatilus while on a diplomatic mission to the planets capital of Drigum. This murder had provoked all out war from the great primarch Ferrus Manus.

Mattyas as 2nd Iron-Captain was put in second commander within the legion during this campaign being personally led by his primarch. His company had earned much honour in the campaign. He personally saved his dear primarchs life, when his lord was surrounded by a mob of the planet’s king’s personal bodyguard. They were armed with a weapon close to the strength of a bolter and armoured in something crudely fashioned but strong. Mattyas took a near suicidal jump from a nearby building to save his lord. He had been offered the place of 1st Iron-Captain but he declined it saying that it was only duty and that his place was with his men. Now, the campaign was being brought to a climax. The final battle was about to take place. Mattyas walked down the docking station checking his warriors. He turned around to see 3rd Iron-Captain Magnos and 12th Iron-Captain Markius moving toward him with a piece of Oath paper in Magnos’ hand. “You ready Mattyas?” questioned Magnos.

“Ready to destroy the weak cowards.” He replied with a passion.
“Good, I am hear to take your oath.”

“And I shall witness it.” Informed Markius. Mattyas knelt on the cold metal floor. He unsheathed his blade handing the hilt to Markius. He placed his hand upon the blade’s face. “ Do you Mattyas, Iron-Captain of the 2nd Company, accept your role in this. Do you swear to lead your men into the fires of battle honourably and with courage and conduct them to glory no matter the ingenuity or ferocity of the foe? Do you swear to crush the rebels on Guryda IV for the glory of the X legion and of the Imperium?” Mattyas looked up.

“I swear, by this blade I shall.” He said. He took the Oath paper and pinned it to his armour. Receiving his blade he turned and ran to the Stormbird and prepared to take the fight to the rebels. As did every captain attached to the landing force.

Mattyas cocked his bolter for the thousandth time since the launch. “Iron-Captain, deployment in one minute encounting.” Informed the familiar voice of Frugien. “Strength in Iron.” He cried, yelling out the companies’ call to rally.
“Strength in Iron!” was the reply.

“30 seconds ‘till deployment.” Called the ships vox.
“Brothers! I want a deployment so fast and effective that it would make the primarch and the Emperor proud. I want a perimeter set up as soon as we land.” He ordered with steel in his voice. “Our objective is to breach the fortresses defences and make our way to the throne room. We will be there first. I have bet on it with the 4th Captain. So this is a matter of company honour.”

“We shall honour the company.” Replied the warriors as one.
“Deployment Imminent.” Called the vox. The pressurised doors of the Stormbird slid open revealing its deadly cargo. The black armoured warriors of the Iron Hands legion ran out from the Stormbird, instantly creating a perimeter around the landing craft: allowing their fellow warriors to deploy safely. “2nd Company forward, Strength in Iron!” cried Mattyas.

“Strength in Iron.” Replied his warriors as they chased after him. Mattyas ran toward the rebel soldiers. Entrenched behind a wall of steel. “Venerable Brother Isaac, destroy this obstacle.” He ordered. The huge, bulky form of brother Isaac walked up behind Mattyas, each steep making the ground shake. The Dreadnought pulled its colossal fist back and punched the wall with all his might. After four such blows the wall caved in. “Forward! Take the City!” Cried Isaac, in his mechanical voice. The rebels opened fire as soon as the Space Marines breached the wall. Their Stubbers harmlessly bouncing off their power armour. Mattyas launched himself into the trench. He crushed terrified soldier as he landed to the sound of cracking bone. He turned decapitating a line trooper brave enough to charge him.
Mattyas began firing his bolter cutting down swathes of enemies. After a few minutes of brutal combat the trenches had been taken, without casualties. Climbing out of the trenches the 2nd company continued into the city. “This Captain Mattyas of the 2nd. Trenches to the west have fallen.” He reported.

“Very Good, Mattyas continue into the city.” Replied the calm voice of his liege lord.

But a few days later the primarch had received a communication from his brother-primarch Fulgrim of the III legion. Fulgrim had requested a meeting with Ferrus and it had been granted. The Iron Hands now only stayed at this planet to wait for Fulgrim. After the meeting they were going to rendezvous with the 28th expedition and continue the crusade in the Emperor’s name.

and more to the end:

“Your will.” Was the reply from 1st Captain Kul-Bazroth. The assembled astartes walked out of the room, in a hushed silence getting to grips with what was about to happen. But they all knew there wasn’t a thing they could do. It was the will of the Warmaster.

*


Ferrus paced up and down his study, barely restraining himself from smashing up the nearest thing to hand. “Mattyas!” he bellowed.
“Yes, my Lord.” He replied with humility.
“Prepare the legion, I will fly with my Veteran companies to the Istvaan System, you will then follow with the rest of the Legion.” Ordered Ferrus.
“But my Lord, allow me and the 2nd Company to travel with you let Magnos of the 3rds to lead the rest of the Legion. Allow me to help take the fight to the traitors.” Ferrus stood still for a moment considering this new offer. Finally after a few long minutes. “Very well Mattyas, I will need your counsel in the times to come. Relay these orders to Captain Magnos.
“Yes Lord.” Replied Mattyas as he walked out of the chambers.
Mattyas spent that evening drilling and re-drilling his company. He wanted them in top form when the time came to fight the traitors. However, he said nothing of their new enemy, but he guess that some of the men knew from another source. Finally with daybreak he went to his private arming chamber and polished his armour. He polished it and polished it until he could see his reflection gleaming in every piece. It must of taken hours but he needed something to take his mind off the coming storm.
Mattyas walked down the long, cold corridors of the Will of Iron. He increased his pace; he carried a message of the utmost importance. He took a sharp right turn, knocking on the solid adamantium doorway. The knocks bellowed down the corridor.