Day 1

Six years...six years since i've been home. Now i have to face my mother again...and her questions about how irresponsible I have been. As if I could bring home a jerk who fucked my former- best friend behind my back. He lied to me about her...and everything else. He was nothing more than a jerk.

I wonder if anyone will remember me?? Will Damien even remember who I am because of the time it has been. Last tie i saw him was before he left for England. I doubt he will want to go back to the backwards town we grew up in. He was the one among the Tyson family i actually liked. That was in high school though...and it has been a long time since then.

And who will i be pushed to marry so the family doesn't look weak? An unmarried daughter comes home and expects to be respected for comming home alone? Just because the guy was a jerk who can't keep a secret. If he comes here he will try and force the issue of marriage...and i can't have that. He will expect to get a chance to know his child...and Rose won't allow it....

I'll cross that road when i come to it. For now, it's good to be home, and among family.

Day 1 (continued)

The carnival is tonight. I am starting to wonder who all is around still? Some have gone away, but not everyone. Sure, it will be hard for most people to not reconguise the burgendy hair and green eyes. It got under quite a few people's skin.

Oh the crushes in high school that came to nothing. Not like i was about to admit that I actually liked a Tyson. Looks are one thing...but personality is another thing. There are a lot of people who have good head's on their shoulders. Well...the chances that i'll run into Damien again are slim. I hope i might...but the question is do i actually let him in on the truth of matters? I don't know know...but it depends on if he is game for the ferris wheel or not. I'm so glad it's finally back. And we don't have to sign a notice about it in order to ride it again.

It was always so romantic...nearly as romantic as meeting on the red bridge, when the tithe is not near at hand. The area there is beautiful for a picnic.

Dear Journal,

Well, mom seamed to take it well enough. Now to wait until she throws every bacholer in town my way just to try and make things right. They'll likely be using me for one reason or another, just like my mother and all other will. I guess the best thing to say to it is "here's to hoping." Mabey things will start looking up, and perhaps not. All a matter of time and patience. One day perhaps i will not feel so bad about going home the way I did. If only...