http://www.tailsplace.com/jokehtml/bigbrother.htmlgo here to make your own episodes of the hit reality show big brother!
fill in the blanks and happy reading!
heres mine(dont hate me for it its random)
Big Brother!
Day 1 - dkj400 admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of jessica t. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, hannah is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although lunarwolf later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. specialed creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. loup hits him with a knife.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of dark tower out of pizza. After much persuasion by specialed, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the dark tower task is well under way. However havoc ensues when lunarwolf, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat bastard in the house, eats half the pizza. loup is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the dark tower task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when lunarwolf farts and blows dark tower over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. jessica t cries.
6 - specialed gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, jessica t admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a knife. dkj400 says he never wears condoms because they make his cock sore and specialed agrees. hannah goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual bastards. lunarwolf sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up specialed.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. dkj400 goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. loup and jessica t are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for dkj400.
9 - loup and jessica t are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. hannah sings them a song - sK8r boi - to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote jessica t out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. jessica t leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with jessica t's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. hannah has to make do without the cucumber she requested. loup is visibly depressed and is comforted by specialed, who tries to touch her on her ovaris.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of specialed touching loup's ovaris over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that lunarwolf refuses to run because his cock hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. lunarwolf finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. loup calls lunarwolf a lazy cock.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. dkj400 tells everyone individually that he thinks loup is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. loup and specialed are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for dkj400.
16 - The nominations are announced. loup can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. specialed is equally stunned and turns to loup for comfort. lunarwolf is distraught and confesses to hannah that he thinks he is in love with specialed. hannah says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know
17 - The public vote specialed out of the house. loup says she is gutted and even gives specialed a clipping of hair from her ovaris to prove how much she cares. lunarwolf is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. specialed leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of loup clipping the hair from her ovaris. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of hjuma in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of hjuma sounds like but lunarwolf says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose dkj400 as the one who must complete the task.
21 - dkj400 successfully burps not only the National Anthem of hjuma but also God Save The Queen, sK8r boi and the theme tune to digimon. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and dkj400 tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. lunarwolf and hannah are nominated.
23 - lunarwolf and hannah take their nominations well and sit down with dkj400 and loup to discuss why they voted for them. dkj400 keeps quiet but loup accuses lunarwolf of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred cock before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote hannah out of the house and nobody really gives a shit. hannah leaves.
25 - dkj400 becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of dkj400's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a wanker.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of wolf dung using only a knife. dkj400 is unsure but lunarwolf is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, lunarwolf breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the wolf incident from his childhood. loup tries to persuade him to stay but dkj400 sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. lunarwolf decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the wolf dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by loup from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. dkj400 asks loup to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly dkj400 nominates loup to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does loup.
30 - When the nomination is announced, loup graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that dkj400 is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. dkj400 takes his £70,000 and runs away to hjuma. Nobody, including loup, ever sees him again.
DKJ WINS!! :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: