Liar:
A man is dying of Cancer. His son asked him, Dad, why do u keep telling people ur dying of AIDS?
Answer: So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom!

Delivered:
A man sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. The report said, DELIVERED.

Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.

The Equation:
7 Glance = 1 Smile
7 Smile = 1 Meeting
7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposal = 1 Marriage
And that 1 Bloody marriage has 77777777777 Problems. So beware of glance!

Plan For Future:
Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Jack: I want 2 b a pilot. Tom: I want 2 b a doctor. Jane: I want 2 b a good mother. Harry: I want 2 help Jane.

Chinese Adam & Eve:
If Adam and Eve were Chinese we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.

hehehe .... nice ones cousin .. :D