i need some advice, please. im sorry that my problems probably sound stupid and im sorry that this is so long.. but please... i used to cut, and i dont want to start again over this guy.

my best friend used to be this guy whose parents beat him, who wanted to kill himself, and who took drugs. last year, i had a really rough time. my dad was.. well really mean to put it nicely. this guy was there for me through it all, and he was the first person i opened up to. i told him i cut (he's still my only friend who knows)and about my family and he was there for me. but he used to always talk about how badly he wanted to kill himself. he used to tell me about the cuts and stuff he got from his parents (hed tell me and id see them.. but hed always make up excuses about where they came from)and it used to make me feel so bad.. but i didnt know what to do about it. well long story short he just stopped talking to me over the summer and that was it. i didnt realise it then but it really broke me.. like i just cant take it anymore. he used to tell me he loved me but now i know i wasnt good enough... which was what my dad always said.. that nobody would want me.

not only did it hurt that he walked out of my life, but im still scared about how close i came to losing the only thing i cared about in my life.. and i still cant forget how much it hurt to know that his parents beat him.

well i talk to this guy every now and then just about really stupid stuff... but a couple days ago.. he had those cuts again... from his parents and i hadnt seen them in so long. and i dont know why but it just killed me i just couldnt stop crying after that.

i dont know what to do anymore. i feel like an idiot for still loving a guy like this after SO LONG but i really want to help him. what can i do? how can i forget him? or how can i help him?

im really sorry this was so long.. but i really need to tell someone... and i could use some help please... thanks

Its not uncommon for someone to feel the way you do in your situation. When you care about someone deeply you're bound to feel that way. Do you know if he is seeing someone about cutting? Perhaps a counsellor or if his parents are aware of his situation?

ufnortunatly you won't ever forget him. and you won't stop liking him. what you can do is tell him that if he ever needs anything (like talking) you'll be their for him, if he tells you something like he's going to kill himself and you can't stop him by doing anything, tell someone. he may dislike you for that but if you don't you'll probibly (i don't know if you will because i don't know you but this happened to a friend of mine... sort of) blame yourself and start cutting again. if that happens get help. I know that you may think no one cares but someone does, or some one will. there is more to life. try not (I know it's hard) but try not to let him effect you so much. work on you and building your self of steam, you are worth way more than what your dad used to say to you. you should probibly have some one to talk to like a psycitrist or a school counsler if your not. it can't hurt.
Good luck
~Chrissy

(please don't take offence to anything I've said, like I said I don't know you very well i'm just making assumptions according to people around me, and how they've delt with issues like this.)

Too much for you to handle on your own =[

I have to agree with this. Its what I would of said. Take care Leftbehind. Do whats good for you.

THANK YOU SO MUCH! seriously it means so much to me that i've gotten so much help. :)
no, WeWalkThePlank your not offending me at all -- its actually really helpful :D

i've got a therapist right now, and she knows the counselors at school, so right after i told her he was suicidal she told them... but i dont think it's changed anything.

maybe i just have to ignore it and ignore him. i dont know if im thinking the wrong way... but he blocked me out of his life, and he's got a whole new bunch of friends and a girlfriend and all so i kinda figure that its their problem now. but my friends are telling me the opposite.

so ive got one more question: do you think its out of place (cuz im not a part of his life anymore) if i tell him that he's worth more than suicide?

thanks again :)

I don't think it would hurt, but if he has a gf now thats prolly her job, unless she's an air head or an ice queen. he'd either take it to heart, or blow it off. or he could pretend to blow it off and take it to heart secretly, or he could cause drama and start making fun of you. (<-- happened to a friend of mine. it'll only happen if hes an arsehole, u no like those mean guys that alot of people hate but a few people care and they cuss alot...hopfuly hes not like that.) good luck
~Chrissy

it helps to know someone cares even tho they might not still "be apart" of your life...people beat down other people to make themselves feel good they feel better once they mentally destory someone and suiside thoughts sometimes comes when theres no one's there to say that THOSE people are wrong that those are the people who are really just screwed up in the head, everylife has sometype of meaning in it. i mean if we didnt have a meaning or worth what the hell are we doing here?

I think you should praise yourself - You've stuck by this guy through a lot, despite him blocking you out of his life. If you feel it may help to tell him he is worth more than suicide, then go ahead but it seems he's coping ok what with his new friends and girlfriend. I also think at some point he may regret cutting you out of his life as it's not often you find someone so caring and so willing to help you through whatever you're going through - I've realised that people like that are hard to find and you shouldn't let them slip away or take them for granted. But as someone else has said, you can now concentrate on yourself, bulding up your self esteem etc.

hii bby, awh I totally know where you are coming from about the whole being attached to him thing. It sounds like this boy is having alot of problems with his family, it also seems as though you were the girl that he cared alot about and maybe even 'loved'. I think maybe the reason he pushed you away was because he didnt want to drag you into his messed up life, maybe he felt like his life was going to effect you.

SO as for what you should do, I dont think that you should forget about him. That would be sad. Because it sounds like he still cares about you.. Maybe you should just randomly one day ask him why he stopped talking to you. Maybe then you'll know what to do.

<333

For starters, Suicide is not something to joke about, if he says "I'm going to commit suicide", you need to report it. In my honest opinion, someone who says they are going to kill themselves over a period of time usually doesn't intend to do it, its an attention plea.

You are an amazing person for sticking by him, even if he didn't stick by you. Always remember that you did/are doing your best when it comes to that situation.

Try occupying yourself with other things that don't remind you of him when he comes to mind. If he needs to talk, let him know your available. And always remember that your problems are not dumb.

I am always willing to talk if you need me okay? I'll keep you and your friend in my thoughts and prayers...

WOW. i know i already said this but all your comments + help are really helping me out so much. :)

well i gave him a letter telling him that what he used to say scared me and basically that im still here for him and that i hope he doesnt kill himself. absolutely nothing happened afterwards and he said nothing at all but im not surprised cuz he's that type.

DumbHoe --> a while ago i asked him why he stopped talking to me actually and he said his parents wouldn't let him use the phone anymore.. even though a couple days later i saw him calling his friends so i dont think i believe him... but maybe its worth asking again...

fatalxatrackt10n --> you said that you think i should report it -- do you mean that i should tell a counsellor or somebody at school? cuz honestly he used to say some pretty scary stuff not just about himself... maybe he didnt mean it really... but it might be worth it. do you think i should?

thank you everybody again you guys are helping me get over him and it means a lot :D