Im Cristie and Im 12 years old. And I do cut myself. Not for stupid reasons. For many reasons. My parents abuse me before and they haunt me. I feel like their are gonna hit me again. My brother calls me a jackass or fat lard all the time. He thinks its a joke..im not laughing. And my parents would be in the car and they would here it. They dont say anything. They just sit there and laugh. I have no friends any more except the Jonas Brothers yuku team. All my friends dont want to be my friends anymore.They are fake now. All people at our school is fake. i hate my dad. He is just a lazy ass person who dosent do anything for his family. He just has money and keeps it for himself.Its only my mom that helps us. But still. I dont like my mom either. She always yells at us if we dont listen and do EXACTLY what she says. It gets on my freakin last nerve. I dont like my brother either. He makes fun at me. He tells me im fat. And short. Weird. A Jackass who should live in hell. And that what hurt me. All things in my life is going down hill. My parents got in a huge fight before. ANd thats my first time i cut. And it felt good. The pain feel like it just dissapeared. But once i walk out the pain comes again. I cut myself for almost 3 years now. And Im too deep in. Some people say a rubber band on the wrist helps..i tried it dosent help me at all. I try to stop. But the pain keeps comming back and the emotion. Ive changed the person i use to be. i dont talk a lot anymore..only to my friends on the site.
My friends help me try to stop. But I just cant! All the pressure all the hate. The pain. I cut myself for too many reasons. I do write and play but I still cut myself nothing makes me stop.
I just need to find a way to stop...if thats possible..
Sorry for ranting...
Awesome way to bring out your feelings! I'm very proud of you for coming out with so much. Do not appologize for it. No need to. Ranting is a way of expressing yourself. Anyway, you sound really upset, but in a sense I get that you have gotten through this, or are getting through it though you may think you're not. You're still alive and accomplishing something by chatting with us and that's great! Now, what I advise is you seek counselling either at school or in the community. You may say that you don't trust them, but really, you put this stuff about your life on here and you don't even know who we are! So, you've really taken the first step in teaching yourself to talk. Now, counsellors will help you with coping methods. Also, trying to sort out your life and get you "back on track".
About the cutting, it's a vicious cycle, I know I've been there. It brings you down, but temporarily restores happiness because you're releasing chemicals that relax you for a certain time period. Just think, you're putting all those scars on yourself, and you're going to keep seeing them and feeling worse. You need to find friends who will take you for who u are..then try going out with them. Sounds like you need time to yourself, away from all this pain. So, I'd advise that you at least try to get a few friends? Doesn't have to be in your school or anything, or even try just going for a walk or something. Exercise helps! Anyway, I feel this is kind of long.
On my last note, I'm very very proud of you for taking the first step in posting on here. We love to give advice any time u need it. I hope all goes well for you, and if you need anything just give me a shout!
having the feel to cut yourself will come and go. It does sound like you have gone through alot and the good part about it is that you havent killed yourself not. It takes alot of control to not cut yourself and i have taken a red marker and mark all over my arm. The red is suppose to represet blood and sometimes it helps.
And shes right about going for a walk to relax. Just take about 15 minutes everyday and go walking it will relax you and relieve some of the stress. and it will also help to have some friends to talk to face to face. Really there are alot of girls and guys that go through the same thing. You may feel like everyone in your school is fake but there a couple that aint.
Thank you soo much for the help. I didnt cut myself so far since last two wednesdays ago. Thank you guys for being there. Im actually trying to make new friends. But kinda hard when your on vacation....But once i go back to school ill make new friends. Ive also tried new things. Like GUITAR! That helped me sooo much. LIke writing music is like a new way to vent. Sure i may have an urge to cut myself I still do. BUt its gotten a lil better. Thanks again soo soo soo much for being there. Even though only two people. I apprecitate that you guys replied. thank you.
just keep at it and soon youll forget about the urge. I know ill always be here to help if you need iit.