Is that something you believe in? That some pain is good and some bad.

I'm really curious what people think because my boyfriend and I have been discovering new things and those things contradict my boyfriend's strong opinions on my SH'ing. In a way, at least :P
My boyfriend wanted me to stop cutting and I did, or I tried as hard as I could, and he still is against it actually, but after we went to this fetish party he changed his mind about a few things. I had asked him to cut me during sex because I really wanted him to. Not because I felt depressed, I just wanted it. He wouldn't do it because it went against his opinions. But at this party, we spoke to a very interesting woman, Mistress Bára. She explained to my bf the difference between me cutting myself and him cutting me for pleasure. He's not as adverse to the idea now, but he still would rather not cut me, but bite me or whip me or inflict other kind of pain instead. But the point is, he kinda gets it now.

And what I wanna know from you is what do you think of this? Do you think cutting for pleasure and to relieve these masochistic urges is different from self-harming? Or do you think it's all bad?

Please answer if you have any opinion of this at all :)

Eria, the definition of pain is: "a symptom of some physical hurt or disorder". Pain is not supposed to be something enjoyable, and self inflicted pain, in my opinion, is self destructive. To me, if someone were to ask me to cut them for pleasure, I would suggest phycological help.

But thats just my opinion, I'm a very open minded, but to me, the though is very, very sick.

:trig: <--- I have always wanted to use this.

Hmmm well... just one way or the other, be very careful with this. If u do decide to go ahead with cutting during sex be careful where you do it, as if you cut in sexual places it can be rather dangerous. So keep it simple and light. I know exactly what you’re talking about with the good pain thing, it’s amazing and I think this is a reason that many people who do cut themselves use to defend it. It feels good and u get a small adrenaline kick, cutting in a loving/sexual situation gives it new meaning so you don't get the overshadowing hit of negative afterwards. I used to be fully into the BDSM thing, and I have played both roles, its fun and I don't know... kinky. It’s some people’s thing. I grew out of it, or more had two many bad relationships out of it.

The same cautions apply here as elsewhere with the whole cutting thing, keep it light, keep it in safe areas, and keep it clean. Make sure you disinfect the area, the blade/whatever, and bandage it up right away after as you normally would. Vitamin E cream on the area after healing is wonderful as it helps the skin recover and prevents a lot of scars.

Also I think it’s really important to consider that when you do this it is a trust thing and a respect thing as well as just for pleasure. Make sure you TRUST the other person; I know I'm hammering the point but it’s incredibly important. The other person needs to be responsible and aware of how far you are willing to go long before anything happens. Be honest; don’t ever say you are up for something unless you are utterly sure of that. It is perfectly okay to say that you are curious; it means the other person will be more cautious and careful. In situations like this as with everything else that seems to fall into the BDSM kind of thing make sure you use the stop, slow, go method which is basically if things go to far, tell him to stop and make sure its agreed that he will stop, not in a few seconds.. Exactly when you say it. I’m sure you can gather what the slow and go mean.

Erotic cutting and self harming in my opinion if done right are two different things, but it is easy to allow them to lap. I cannot stress enough that this has to be done in a positive light, i.e. you are doing this to get off, and as a symbolism of trust and support and as a bonding thing. NOT because the world sucks and you are both in this together. If you are only cutting each other because you are both in this together it is easy for you to become Dependant on each other, which makes it difficult to stop.

Taken in Hand. This site is a list of articles that you might find useful on BDSM etc and well I’m not actually too sure how they are but they seemed to be compressive and useful at first glance.

NOTE: This does not condone self harm or self mutilation or ANYTHING like that. Please be open minded.

NOTE: Sorry this was so long but I kind of felt that some of these things, if not all needed to be said.

NOTE3: Uh... just because I have been able to ramble on about these things a lot doesn't mean I plan on running out and doing any... <-- you all know who this is aimed at :P

Pain... its useful yet deceiving. finding pleasure in it only allows yourself to sustain destruction which goes with you till the day you die.

Bearing thru pain, otherwise known as endurance can be useful at times... but making looooove is not quite where it should be endured.

Simply my opinion, but to bleed out of joy is to desensitise you from the unexpected and the deadly. somhow, its entwined.... i dunno.

I, myself would not go with that... To bring myself to harm the one I love is like betrayal in my eyes... To submit pain and force in that manner just seems like it goes against my ability to protect.

Hehe yea im about to :sleepy: on the keyboard so im cutting this short.

I have scars, but they came from rabid animals, small rocks, or asphalt... Hurt like hell, and they dont display pride... and im frickin rambling lol, ok.. im out!

layta folks! :lock:

Vogue: I'm a very submissive person, in all ways, and my boyfriend is dominating and it suits us very well :P Especially since he's the one person in the world I'd trust with my life. The trust is there and he would never even take the risk of actually hurting me (I mean, seriously hurting me). We are, of course, very careful. Anything other would just be plain stupid.
And I do know people that have been in the BDSM scene for years, and I can ask them for guidance :)

TheDisturbed1: Pain is not your thing, you simply aren't a masochist. I get that and I respect your opinion. I just don't agree :P

fatalxatrackt10n: Obviously you aren't as open-minded as you think, and you are making statements and not just expressing your opinions...I am, however, aware that not everyone can understand this and I will not ask you to.

Thanks for the replies :)

@Erla: Hmm yeh well.. sorry i kinda made it sound like you dont know what your doing cause i have all faith that u do. its just easier to assume that u dont and be safe not sorry.. haha.. yeh i do realise i sounded utterly full of myself. but well i know ALOT of people who think they know but really dont. so i ramble on too much.. haha good luck with it all, I dont know why but i feel like mentioning that im really happy for you guys... *jelous.. *.. aww i want that. but im very happy with what i have.

@TheDisturbed1: Um.. yeh i believe you when u said u were tired..haha.. dont worry baby ill be gentle :P

I agree with fatal. I'm not a big fan of the idea of cutting.

hehe yea, well I am very open minded... But that is a far off realm to me :P

Well, I would never ask someone to like it. Just to respect my views. I mean, if you are a masochist, you are one. I just enjoy pain and I don't see that changing =P

(I know this is like a mounth late but...)
it's not really sick... just different... whatever floats ya boat ya know

It depends what you want to do..I mean cutting in sensitive places can be damaging..so just be careful, but what ever suits you for pleasure and you are ok with doing it, that's fine! :tup: