No she doesn't abuse me or anything like that, but I just feel like she's expecting me to be perfect when I'm not...
Today at the dinner table I was telling her about my plans next week(since we only have half a week of school) about going to the movies with my friends, going to the mall, and then going to see another movie. She said that she didn't want to take me and then I said "Ok well then maybe I can ask someone else if they can." and then she got all mad at me and said that I only thought about myself now and that I didn't think about anyone else." I didn't mean to upset her, of course. I was trying to make her happy by saying that I could go with someone else and she didn't have to take me, I didn't expect her to say yes that SHE would. It would've been better if she simply just said "maybe" instead of going on and saying that I only think about myself when I'm CONSTANTLY trying to please her every way I can.
Last week I lied to her but I'm trying to gain her trust back. Last week was a bad week cause she was constantly yelling at me and I was about to say "screw it" and throw all my grades down the toilet until I noticed she was right when she was saying that I didn't care anymore. Of course I still....you know...cared, but I just seemed kinda pressured by her yelling and her screaming and me feeling like a puppy that I kinda sorta DID screw up these last few months. So I'm trying to get myself back together for this year and if I end up failing any of my classes then I'm going to try to make up for it next year.
Anyway, after dinner she asked me to go on a bike ride with her. I said "ok" but in a bad tone of voice. It's a habit, I say things at wrong times, in a bad tone of voice, and I do it without thinking which makes it worse. She got mad at me and again brought up the subject of me thinking only about myself. Sometimes I wonder if she REALLY knows what being a teenager is like. I mean I have a ten year old friend who I love to death, but sometimes I want to hang out with people MY OWN AGE!!! For this whole year its been nothing but Kristen(the ten year old friend), and I want to hang out with people my own age for once 'cause I can talk to them about stuff, and even though I'm pretty open with her I can't seem to talk to her about my bf and stuff with out her saying that he's stupid or that she hates him and he didn't do anything to her.
So I don't know why my mom's acting like this to me. I mean, I know I CAN be selfish sometimes and I CAN ask for a lot of things, but it's a habit and I dunno....I'm trying to fix all of my mistakes, but she just keeps on yelling at me and it puts so much stress on me. I feel like she wants me to be perfect when I can't be. I try to be, but it doesn't work. I try to please her, but that doesn't seem to work, I try to get her out of stress by me, but that doesn't seem to work either. If somebody could please...PLEASE read this and tell me what I'm doing wrong or if I'm just going too dramatic on this, or if it's nothing and I shouldn't worry about it. Please help me!
my mom and my aunt are alot like that. about the grades and the attitude thing, she just cares and is sencitive (even thought she won't admit it)
about the unexplainible drama that she puts you through, she doesn't realise that she's doing it and you can't just tell her cuz she'll blow up. mabie you can ask your mom to go to some sort of family councling with you to "help with your attitude" so she won't get really offended.
my brother who just took a psycology class in college told me something i found quite intresting...
he said that well you know how you always love your parents and no matter what even if you say you hate them a thousand times (in some cases), well they don't know that. you think they do but they don't.
what ever you do (I did this last year and deeply regret it) don't make a sport of pissing off your mom... of you know what I mean. if you don't then... good.
you may not be able to talk to your mother like most people can... but I could be wrong like that.
about the friends your own age thing, try activities outside of school like acting or sports ect... idk though...
good luck I hope that made since... :bye: 4 now