I suffer from OCD pretty badly, and I'm unsure of how to control it. ;(
I've had it for a really long time, but lately it's starting to get to me.

I lose a lot of sleep because I have to get up again and again in the night to check every room in my house, for anything, lights left on, unlocked doors, I don't even know why I look because I know everything's fine. I also feel like I'm in danger because a lot of my OCD is to do with challenging myself. For example, if I'm about to cross the road and there's a car coming, I'll think, "Go on, run. Do it. Just go. If you don't something bad will happen." and I will full on run straight infront of the car. I don't know what goes through me, this rush of... I don't know. I can't explain it.

It also effects my schoolwork because if there's a song playing in the background as I'm doing coursework, I'll think "I need to finish this before the song ends." So I'll rush and rush and do an awful job of what I'm doing - just so that I finish. I also try to fit my sentences on one line in my writing books, even if they're massive sentences.

I don't know whether this is to do with OCD, but I also dread social situations. I hate having to go to meet a friend on my own. The thought of walking up to them and meeting them frightens me :/ I also dread the thought of getting a job or being independant in any way because my self confidence and this strange phobia really is nagging at me.

Is there any way I can get rid of this stress? Does anyone know anything I can do to calm down my OCD a bit, or boost my confidence levels? I'd really like to get on with life as best as I can, I'm a really happy, friendly person, yet this just gets me down.

A large problem at the moment is to do with my boyfriend's family. I've been with him for fives months and I've met his family quite a few times, but the thought of sitting down and eating a meal with them almost makes me sick with fear, the same sort of fear I get when having to meet someone or do something on my own. My boyfriend understands what I'm like but I feel so rude having to give excuses to his family about why I can't stay to dinner there. What should I do? I'm terrified - I don't know why. I wish I could just act normal for once.

Any ideas on what I should do?

Sorry it's so long, thanks for reading.