In 1982, a young teenager of 15, took her life in Japan for Jackie Chan. Another bought a one-way ticket to HK, staked out at the studio in which he was filming, and took poison when she failed to meet him. These rash acts from fans prompted him to deny his wife and son their status for years.

Not so long ago, a young fan of JJ Lin wanted to jump over a bridge for him.

It is extremely alright to be fascinated with someone, especially if that someone has special qualities you want to emulate. It is also normal, a part of growing up to be infatuated with another. But infatuation should not be so intense that the object of desire occupies every waking moment which culminates into a compulsive urge to see or be with him/her to satisfy one’s longing. It becomes mentally unhealthy and dangerous when one loses the ability to distinguish between real life and fantasy.

Please do not get me wrong, no-one here has reached that state of mind, or ever will. I am merely thinking aloud.

Hey Eclipse, when I read your earlier post on the Motorola thread, I was reminded of this song, Stan, by Eminem. And co-incidentally, I heard it again this morning on the radio. And everytime I hear this, it raises my goosebumps a little. Sometimes, idolation of someone (and not just neccesarily a celebrity) can really reach fever pitch and makes people do things out of the normal. :(

So, here's sharing the lyrics of Stan. Had to clean it up a little, too many 'angry' words in it. Its about a fan who was so upset that his idol ignored him that he took his own life, together with his pregnant girlfriend. And this fan was so angry with the 'rejection' that he blames his idol for not saving him while he was 'drowning', a rather scary thought.


[Chorus: Dido]

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
but anyways; what's been up? Man how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some b**** who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground s*** that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the s*** you did with Rawkus too, that s*** was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan

[Chorus: Dido]

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's **** you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you,
four hours and you just said, "No."
That's pretty s***** man - you're like his idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein lied to
Remember when we met in Denver - you said if I'd write you
you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither;
he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
so when I have a s***** day, I drift away and put 'em on
cause I don't really got s*** else so that s*** helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan -- P.S.
We should be together too

[Chorus: Dido]

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
this'll be the last package I ever send your ***
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air Tonight"
about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped +ALL+ of your pictures off the wall
I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me
See Slim; [*screaming*] Shut up! I'm tryin to talk!
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk
but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh s*** , I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this s***out?
[*car tires squeal*] [*CRASH*]
.. [*brief silence*] .. [*LOUD splash*]

[Chorus: Dido]

[Eminem]
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
and here's an autograph for your brother,
I wrote it on the Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that s*** intentionally just to diss you
But what's this s*** you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that s*** just clownin dogg,
c'mon
You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling
to help your *** from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this s*** about us meant to be together?
That type of s***** make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some c razy s***
I seen this one s*** on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
and had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
and in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was.. it was you
D***!

This song is ...scary :(

Obsession.
Often, nothing one says to the person who is suffering from this behavioural abnormality, makes a difference.
The person must be willing to let go of this obsessive behaviour, and with help, they can get better.

The lyrics have given me a heavy-heart, just this stone in my chest.

Yup, so scary. Descriptions like “fatal attraction”, “crimes of passion” will fit here. When the attention is not reciprocated, it is always the other party who is to blame. So true, one’s obsession may not necessarily be with a celeb, it could be with anyone.

Stating the obvious about:

Fascination

"The moon is beautiful partly because we cannot reach it" – George Orwell

Fame

Living the expectations of people who have no idea what you are really like.

On handling fame:

"I handle fame by not being famous… I’m not famous to me" – Bob Marley

It is a scary song.. Pls dun do anything stupid for ur idol..

Infatuation happens not only in the young and starry-eyed, so I learnt. It was reported in today’s Straits Times, that a 70-year old Japanese woman has gone on trial for bombarding her 79-year old object of desire with numerous love letters, and among other things, breaking a stalking ban.

Poor woman, she might even go to jail for her actions – but that could be the cure for her love-sickness. :(

Wonder if she looks anything like Helen Mirren...

eee! omg she is how old? and she did WHAT? okay that is so scary please.

i love guys too but i wouldnt go to such an extent la!

SCARYNESS =x

stalkers are scary D:

my sis had a stalker once, who got hold of her number & stuff. even found out my parents' jobs! but after we reported the case to the police it stopped.

we were really freaked out & i didn't dare to go out after school & came home immediately everyday hahaha :D

Was reading a really disturbing story on the Straits Times yesterday, and I was reminded of this topic here. A father, to support his daughter's idolation of Andy Lau, gave up everything the family ever had. In the end, he even gave up his life because his daughter's dream of meeting Andy personally was not fulfiled. It is such a sad and shocking story. If anything, you would have expected the daughter to be the one taking the drastic steps, and not her father committing suicide.

Here's the article from ChinaDaily:

Father kills himself chiding Andy Lau's indifference to his daughter
By Vivien Wang
Updated: 2007-03-29 17:01

Leaving a twelve page letter to daughter's idol Andy Lau, Yang Qingji ended his 68 years long life in Hong Kong on March 26 after his daughter attends an activity with her idol Andy Lau.

Yang's daughter Yang Lijuan is a 28-year-old girl from northwestern China's Gansu province. After the first time she dreamed of Andy 13 years ago, she became a huge fan of him. Since then, she quitted school and spent all the time thinking of her idol. All she wants is to meet Andy Lau and tell him how she loves him.

To support daughter's dream, Yang Qingji and his wife spent up every penny of their savings. They sold the only house they had in Lanzhou City. Yang even decided to sell one of his kidneys to a local hospital, but he was refused because it's illegal. However, they never had chance to meet or talk to Andy. Several days ago, the family entered Hong Kong for the third time. With the help of Andy's fans club, Yang Lijuan finally had an opportunity to attend Andy's birthday activity with hundreds of his fans on March 25. To her disappointment, she only got few minutes to take picture with Andy instead of having a conversation with him. Her life long dream did not come true.

Being unacceptable to this result, Yang Qingji wrote a letter blaming Andy's coldness to his daughter and drowned himself in despair after daughter and wife fell in sleep. In his letter, he thought it was Andy's responsibility to arrange a private meet with his daughter, even for five minutes.

Yang Lijuan and her mother were in deep sorrow after Yang's death. Yang Lijuan showed her regret of loving Andy Lau for so many years to reporters. But she still insisted that Andy should meet her again, otherwise her father's death was meaningless. She took Andy as the root cause of her father's death. Although critics think the deficiency of courage to face the reality after fulfilling years' dream is the real reason of the tragedy.

Andy Lau responds through his agency on March 28 that he has fulfilled Miss Yang's hope of meeting on the birthday activity. Feeling astonished and disappointed, he hopes Miss Yang can go back to hometown and start her own life. He refuses to meet her any more.

Leaving father's dead body in Hong Kong, Yang Lijuan and her mother went back to Lanzhou on March 28 without .making it clear what to do next.

The link is: http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/entertainment...tent_839726.htm

This sad, really sad. Something is obviously not right - that fans cannot distinguish reality from fantasy. Why blame another person when the parents are clearly at fault for feeding the daughter's fantasy? Allowed to quit school, just to dream of her idol everyday?

The story was also reported in TNP:

http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/news/story/0,...,126060,00.html?

Oh my goodness. What a tragic story.

April, remember the song "Stan" by Eminem. Just like that song.

Obsession.

Yeah, the whole story reeks of obsession, Bernie. I am not sure if the parents were obsessed with helping their daughter or if they just loved her so much that they wanted to fulfil her dream. Although, I don't think they have been doing the correct thing, as Eclipse has said. And it's so tragic, why did the father have to kill himself? I was told that in some other paper, it was speculated that he had not really meant to kill himself, and just wanted to give Andy a scare, but his plan backfired.

This Lijuan, in my opinion, is really really unfilial! How could she make her parents go through everything they went through, and allowing them to sell off all their possessions to fuel her 'dream'?

On a side note, today's (1 Apr) the anniversary of Leslie Cheung's death. In 2003, he hurled himself off the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in HK, and left a note saying he was depressed.

That fan and family were definitely over the top. No one has the right to demand attention from a star just because they seek out to do something out of their own free will. It's not like Andy Lau has promised to meet and spend time with her if she finds means and ways to go to Hong Kong. I wonder what were going on in the minds of that 3 adults (daughter is 28 years old!) when they decided to spend every penny they could just to fulfill a dream to meet someone who probably does not know or bother with their existence in the first place. Maturity and wisdom knows no age.

On your other note, I don't think Leslie jumped down just because he was depressed. The word used in his farewell letter was "depression". Being depressed and having depression are 2 different things. One is the state of mind or rather emotion and the latter is an illness.

Yup, the word used was 'depression'. He had apparently been suffering from that for a while before his suicide :( Heard quite a bit of his songs played on radio today.

So strange. On Sunday, was telling my sister the news you posted about the father of Andy Lau's fan committing suicide (whether intentionally or not) and the thought of Leslie's Cheung's suicide came to mind. Didn't realise it was the anniversary of his death.

Depression is such a difficult illness to tackle. Several people have spoken to me about their experiences with depression and how all-consuming it is. Most of the time, the sufferers are in denial. They don't know what exactly the matter is, yet cannot stop the downward spiral. Suicide seems the only option. Very scary, and it can hit even those who feel they are mentally tough.