Aubria pushed open the door of her weyr and entered, dragging her trunk behind her. It had been a bit of a trek up the winding stone stairs to the place where she found Lamorath's slumbering form, but Aubria's green knew her well. She wanted a place that would give her exercise going to and from the Weyr Bowl, but not so much that she was susceptible to a heart attack coming back from breakfast. The place that Lamorath had chosen was just the right height, she figured, and even if she was a little out of breath now, she would grow accustomed to it in time.

She looked fondly at the green, curled up on her sunning ledge for a nap. A small walkway led from her weyr to the ledge, big enough so that the dragon was visible from Aubria's bed but narrow so that wind and rain could not get into the sleeping quarters. Of course, for the latter form of weather, Lamorath had refuge as well: a cavern laden with straw served as a comfortable bed, and the curved nature of the cave kept the elements out.

Aubria's portion of the weyr was one room only; no baths, but she was fine with that. It was little trouble to go to the Lower Caverns to bathe, and again, it would give her more exercise. The small room featured a single bed fitted with plain white sheets, some hooks for hanging riding gear, and a set of shelves by the door for personal belongings. It was cozy, and it was all that Aubria wanted.

As she began to unpack, she got to thinking about all the things that had brought her to Kharasi... or rather, just the one thing. One person, really. It was a bit obsessive, A'breeq had told her again and again, to focus her life around this man, who she had not seen for Turns and was apt never to see again. But she couldn't help thinking that if she stayed in Tiazora long enough, he would come back... and then she couldn't help thinking that if she went to Kharasi, he would be there, awaiting her with open arms...

**But Lamorath was caught by two others after him,** A'breeq's stern voice argued in her head. **Why not E'las? Why not Xayli?**

**Because...** she argued back, knowing how insane she must seem to anyone who could read her thoughts. **He was my first... and I love him. I've never loved another.**

**Does he love you?**

And there, Aubria fell silent. Beyond all questions, that was the one that had haunted her most. She loved him more than anything, but did he even remember her? Or was she just another Weyrling-turned-lover that had passed through his bed and his mind without a second thought? Was he somewhere out there now, aching for her as she ached for him? Or was he happily content with someone else? A Weyrwoman, whose gold his strong bronze had so easily caught?

She didn't dare ask Alesia if he was here. Besides A'breeq--and L'ricor, who shared all of his secrets with A'breeq and vice versa--she had done her best to hide her fears away from everyone else. She knew she must appear half crazy... circles under her eyes from countless sleepless nights... spending most of her days alone in her weyr... But no one could know. They would mock her for waiting. They would encourage her, as A'breeq always had, to move on, to find another...

But there was no other. There was only...

"B'zar." In the silence of her weyr, the name echoed all around her and pulled her heartstrings in a thousand different directions. She put a hand to her chest, willing for the ache to cease. It was a physical pain that wracked her now, rendering her unable to move and even more unable to think about anything else.

//Mine...// murmured Lamorath, roused from her nap by her rider's heartache. Her eyes were a pale yellow-gray with anxiousness and hurt.

**I'm sorry,** sobbed Aubria, running to Lamorath to clutch her dragon around the neck and bury her tear-streaked face in the soft green hide. **I'm so sorry.**

Lamorath curled her neck around her rider in a sort of swan-like embrace, breathing softly as Aubria continued to cry.

Aubria woke with the contented smile of someone who has just had a lovely dream. Her eyes stayed shut as her mind fumbled its way back to consciousness, and she snuggled into her sheets, which were for some reason particularly warmer this morning.

Last night... What had happened last night? It was hard to remember since her memories were still clouded with the fog of sleep, but she seemed to remember having a dream that Lamorath had risen. How strange.

She shifted in her bed, turning away from the sunlight that flooded her window, and bumped into something very unexpected: a man.

Aubria's eyes flew open and she stifled a startled scream. What? Who? When? The man's bare back was to her, and she realized--biting back another cry--that she was entirely unclothed. Looking around the edge of the bed, she saw two sets of clothes lying as if they had been ripped from their bearers. She even thought she saw a shirt that had been thrown as far as the entrance to her weyr. What had happened?

And then she knew without a doubt--though it was still not enough to calm her--that this man's name was K'jin, and it had been his strong hands that had guided her to bed that night. And she knew that it was his Sevofth who Lamorath was curled up with contentedly at the moment, and Sevofth who had caught Lamorath and led Aubria and K'jin back to the bed.

Lamorath hadn't risen for a very long time, and Aubria had refrained from all activities that normally corresponded to the humans' part of that event. But why? her heart seemed to murmur, willing her hand to touch the small of K'jin's dark back. Last night had been... well... absolutely wonderful. After Turns of hiding by herself, it was fiercely liberating to have been intimate with someone, and K'jin had been a very nice someone to bring Aubria out of her shell.

**I thought you would wait,** a small memory called from the back of her mind. The facets of the face that had haunted her dreams began to swim to the surface of her thoughts, but she pushed them back. For some reason she didn't want to think about him now, though he had been the object of her thoughts since she was just a weyrling.

What she did want to think about was this man who had found his way beneath her sheets. K'jin... The name seemed familiar, but she had never been one to socialize, and she didn't think they had so much as spoken before this. If she remembered right, though, he had Impressed from the same clutch as Aubria's brother A'breeq and his best friend L'ricor.

She strove to visualize his face. Handsome, dark features came to mind, but she'd never seen him before last night, and the room had been lit only by the faintest touch of moonlight. Curiosity came over her and she cautiously propped herself on her elbow, leaning over him in an attempt to catch a glimpse. But still from this point she could only see his cheek and one closed eye. She maneuvered herself so that one hand was supporting her on K'jin's side, and she leaned even further over, her hair barely brushing his shoulder...

But the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry, and Aubria lost her balance and came crashing down right on top of the brownrider she was trying so hard to avoid waking up. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" she yelped, brushing hair out of her eyes and doing her best to push herself off K'jin, who would more likely than not start in surprise at being woken up in such a manner. Instinctively Aubria yanked the sheets up to her neck, cursing herself for having been so clumsy with a man she hardly knew.

The feminine brush of long, soft hair woke K'jin, and Aubria's sudden weight on his shoulder and subsequent squeal of fright made the waking unpleasantly startling. It had been such a long, satisfying, like-the-dead sleep, such as he had not experienced since before the tragic turn of events at Deep Caverns Hold. Had it really been that long? But no matter. Time later for that, because he had caught a definite note of panic in Aubria's voice, and that was not the way a woman and a man should wake up together after what they had shared with their dragons, and each other.

So, smiling lazily, he rolled onto his back and took hold of her slight body in a strong embrace, pulling her against his chest (though she trembled) and not letting go. His full lips curved in a smile, and he murmured with his characteristic rough, low voice, "Hey. Hey. It's okay. Darlin', there is nothing to be sorry about." He stroked her shoulders and her naked back, willing her to relax, and flipped her so that she faced him (ignoring, for the moment, the surge of excitement that the feel of her naked torso against his brought with it), and kissed her forehead. "Now, let's try that again, hmm?" His dark, drowsy eyes peered into her wide, uncertain ones. "Good morning, beautiful rider of Lamorath, who Sevofth informs me is curled with him in much this same position. He seemed," he added after a pause, "Very irritated with my interruption."

What happened then was something that Aubria truly did not expect. Many riders took their part in their dragons' flight as a happy obligation, but an obligation nonetheless. Aubria's past two experiences post-flight had consisted of strange and awkward good mornings, with a sudden rush to don clothes and stumble out of the weyr in an embarassed hurry. So she was pleasantly surprised when she was not pushed aside, but instead taken into K'jin's arms.

His murmur and soft kiss soothed her, and she released the panicked grip she had taken on the sheets. For the first time, she was able to truly gaze into his eyes, and there was warmth and welcome in the darkness that very nearly matched her own. Aubria's soft pink lips curved into a hesitant smile. She looked away nervously as he spoke, only to look back again, unable and unwanting to look anywhere else.

"I'm sorry to have interrupted," she blurted; K'jin could tell her a thousand times not to apologize, but it was Aubria's nature to do so anyway. She felt an even more immediate need to do so now, because it seemed imperative that this man was not displeased with her in any way. His gaze and arms had her happily captive, and to remain so and to get closer would be even better.

She slipped her arms around him in turn, one hand on his back and the other straying beneath the sheets to feel the muscular curve of his hip. She smiled shyly and whispered, "I just wanted to look at you, that's all."

K'jin rolled onto his back, keeping his arms around Aubria so that he was supporting her slight weight. Then he threw his head back into the pillows for a deep-throated laugh. "Look at me? After what we shared--but then, I guess there wasn't a lot of time for looking, was there?" And he looked back, candidly: looked at her dark tangled hair, her puffy lower lip where he'd kissed a little too fiercely, her creamy skin. His arms tightened around her, and on his next question, his voice dropped to a whisper. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" His dark eyes held hers, looking for the lie, for some retreat that would tell her he had. And what then?

On the ledge and in his mind, Sevofth stirred, wrapped his dark tail closer around green Lamorath. Why do you always think of hurt? Lamorath and I didn't hurt. It was glorious. And I know you thought so, too. That last carried a hint of accusation, of injured draconic pride; Sevofth wanted to be sure his rider had not covered something up.

K'jin answered his dragon mentally, still watching Aubria above him. No, it didn't hurt me. That's for the green's rider to deal with, he said, a little sadly.

Aubria couldn't help smiling again as K'jin laughed, wondering at the gentle timbre of his voice despite the strong hands that held her in place. And she faltered when he gripped her, concerned. It had been too long since she had had someone ask her questions like these, hold her like this. To feel cared for, even in the slightest, made Aubria's heart wake from the deep slumber it had fallen into when the greenrider had pushed the rest of the world away. It might take some getting used to, but it was a more than pleasant feeling that she was all too willing to experience more often.

She noticed his eyes scanning hers, looking for a flicker of a lie, but since Aubria had no intention of lying, K'jin would find none there. "To be honest," she said, "I thought that it might hurt, but it didn't, really. It was... one of the most wonderful nights I've had a very long time." She averted her eyes shyly, instinctively, hoping that he wouldn't mistake her shyness for dishonesty. She had no reason to lie, so she continued, "And I'm not just saying that because it was Lamorath's rising... I am glad that I shared it with you."

And she very much was. She was becoming even more glad by the minute, savoring the feeling of lying in another's arms, sharing warmth beneath the sheets when the sun hadn't yet warmed the air. And he was concerned about her happiness, her well-being, and she was for his as well... It was almost too much for Aubria, who, unable to contain herself any longer, brushed her lips against his cheek in a brief but heartfelt kiss.

K'jin held still as Aubria kissed him. Part of it was pure unwillingness to move just yet, part of it was that he didn't wish to startle her, and part of it was wariness upon hearing the tenderness in her voice. That, he didn't want. He'd taken her as Sevofth had taken Lamorath - with her willing, even eager, consent. No, not even consent. Choosing. Dragon and rider had chosen him and his brown. That was wonderful; that was the best possible way to end a flight. But would he and Aubria have naturally been drawn to one another without their dragons' intervention? Looking up at her, K'jin wasn't sure. She was quite pretty, and her curves were a surprising luxury -- so many female dragonriders were bone-thin, little more than muscle and sinew.

So the problem wasn't Aubria. It was him. Get close to people, they get killed. It was a lesson too harshly learned, and it had been his primary fear upon Impressing Sevofth. If he lost his dragon ...

K'jin shut his eyes briefly, willing away the negative thoughts. Now came the awkward part. He could allow no romantic attachment. Not to Aubria; not to anybody. Blast and sear it! Why had the greenrider felt the urge to get all sharding tender? It had been such an amazing night.

"Aubria," he murmured, and opened his eyes. He sighed quietly. "Yeah, it had been a long time. I'm grateful, and Sevofth and Lamorath are happy. Let's keep it in the moment, okay? Now," and he reached up to stroke her hair, her cheek--she really was lovely--"I have to go soon. I hardly know where my own weyr is just yet, and I'm bound to be assigned to a wing soon, and all that goes with it." He rolled her off him and let go, deciding reluctantly to forego one last kiss, and stretched to his full length, getting rid of the stiffness in his muscles.

And there it was... the abrupt ending that Aubria had thought for a moment would not be the one that concluded that wonderful flight. Her heart raced as he stroked her cheek, then fell with a shattering crash as he pushed her away and stretched. She stayed how he had left her, her back turned to him, so he wouldn't see her fighting to keep her composure.

She knew full well how emotionally open she always was, and how attached she became to her friends and... those few who became more than friends. And she also knew that most people weren't comfortable with that, so as soon as Aubria displayed the slightest sign of wanting to hold fast, they slipped away. All except her brother and L'ricor, and one of the greenrider's most chilling fears was that the two were only allowing themselves to be kept close out of obligation to Aubria because she had no one else.

The devastating thought pierced her heart for what seemed like the millionth time. It wasn't fair... All Aubria longed for was closeness, trust, someone's arms to encircle her as she fell asleep. She had heard all manner of excuses... What about my dragon? I'm too busy with my other duties. I might get hurt... and Aubria was sick of them all. Didn't she have Lamorath too? Didn't she work just as hard as anyone around the Weyr? And didn't she and Lamorath fly harder and faster than most greens in any wing, driven by the cold of knowing that there was nothing for them but each other?

Her angry thoughts reached Lamorath, who crooned sleepily from the ledge. Aubria watched her curl closer to Sevofth, wishing yet again that human emotions were as simple as dragons'. Of course she was devoted to Lamorath, but was it too much to ask for someone who wanted human affection to complement their dragon's? It wasn't fair! If only she still had... if only...

But even B'zar had left her, disappearing to who-knew-where without a single word.

She got out of bed abruptly, gathering up her clothes that had been strewn about the floor. I'm not going to be the one who gets left behind again, she cried at herself, pulling on her clothes quickly. As her blouse passed over her face she felt hot tears spill onto the fabric, but she let them come.

"Don't let me keep you," she said to K'jin, who she still had her back to. She wasn't entirely sure she'd been able to keep the tremble from her voice then.

A muscle twitched in K'jin's jaw at Aubria's words, but he said nothing. And even as he wondered how many times her heart had been broken in the aftermaths of her green's mating flights, he knew he was not the man to mend it.

Even so, he was reluctant to end their interlude on a sour note. Maybe he should have been more tactful. Maybe Aubria should be made of sterner stuff. But they were who they were. While he didn't want to get close to anyone, he could also not leave this woman crying in her weyr.

So he tried. Out on the ledge, Sevofth yawned hugely and settled his blunt head possessively around Lamorath's smaller, sleeker one, and went back to sleep. But K'jin finished tying up the laces of his trousers and touched Aubria lightly on the shoulder. Her back was resolutely to him. "Would you at least come have a morning cup of klah with me, in the dining cavern?" he asked.

In the heat of the moment, with tears running down her cheeks, she briefly considered saying something mean. How dare he ask to have her company for a drink when he'd rejected the intimacy she had yearned for? But that would only make things messy, and the last thing two newcomers to the Weyr needed were people they wanted to avoid. Besides, being meanspirited wasn't in Aubria's nature, and she knew that it would be an awful spur-of-the-moment thing that she would only come to regret later.

Then she considered saying no. There was no obligation to spend any more time with someone who had been the one to reject her in the first place, and Aubria had been through more than her share of days spent alone in her weyr. But what would she do? Wallow and sob and sulk? How pathetic would that be?

So she considered saying yes. Some klah would calm her, and she didn't want to be left alone, and... she just didn't want to say no. She wouldn't have been so tender with K'jin only a few moments ago if he had just been any dragonrider; there was something about him that made Aubria like him right away. Their relationship was still much too brief for even the mention of love, and instead there was that awkward, ambiguous feeling that two riders shared when their dragons pulled them into an emotional and physical mess. And the reason Aubria had willed herself to edge closer into the relationship was because she hadn't wanted to leave right away. She wanted to get to know K'jin, and she had hoped that it might be... well... the kind that involved mornings like this every day. The first part of the morning, anyway.

But if he wanted to talk with a dining table between them... at least that was a start. It hadn't been the way she had imagined meeting her first acquaintance at Kharasi Weyr, but Aubria hardly knew what to expect anymore.

So she quickly wiped away her tears on the neckline of her blouse, still turned away from him. When she turned back she gave him a smile, the best one she could manage. "...That would be great," she said at last. "I've been here for weeks and I have yet to eat with anyone else." She wanted to say something like 'I'm sorry,' but she didn't want to scare him off fro the second time this morning. If he wanted to talk, she would let him bring it up on his own.

"It'll be a first for both of us, then. In fact, I don't even know where the kitchen caverns are yet, so you'll have to lead the way." K'jin kept his voice soft; he'd no wish to startle her, and even less of a wish for her to voice the apology that hovered so transparently in her eyes. She'd nothing to be sorry for.

Perhaps an explanation was in order.

He wasn't used to explaining. He'd have to wait and see what transpired between them over breakfast.

So he gave Aubria a brief smile, just a lifting of the corners of his mouth, and bowed to her to precede him.

((Skipping ahead a weensie bit...))

Zenna was wiping down the long, polished tables herself. It was a welcome change from the bustle, noise, and heat of the kitchens; the cleanup after the breakfast rush was more hectic even than breakfast preparation itself, and every worker, drudge, and cook was in there now, making quick work of the cleaning up so that each could rest a few hours before the midday meal.

Constant work, constantly predictable. Dragonriders had to eat, and Zenna had found since coming to the Weyr that dragonmen and women ate far more than Holders - even those who gorged themselves regularly at Thyra. She found an incongruous restfulness in the constant bustle of the work here, but even she needed time to herself. She could get it, now. She worked steadily, gracefully, moving from table to table with her cloth and pail, scrubbing the surfaces until they gleamed. A few dragonriders lingered late over their morning klah: near the hearth, a group of wingleaders had spread out Threadfall charts and were debating enthusiastically over them. Nearing their table, Zenna noted the empty mugs and detoured to the kitchens to fetch three hot klah pots, depositing them quietly on the wingleaders' tables with a demure smile for their thanks. Then she resumed her task.

It was a life she liked, a life for which she could be grateful. And it had its rewards; under her care, the Lower Caverns were prospering and beginning to run like a smooth, efficient machine.

It also put her in a position to see how detrimental the lack of tribute from Thyra Hold was. Alesia had never once mentioned this to Zenna, and she in return did all she could to prevent the Weyrwoman's worrying over short supply. She was quietly, unshakably determined to make up for her family's intransigence, no matter what it took. Now, in high summer, with the fall harvest approaching, making do was not difficult. But Thyra had been the Weyr's largest supplier, and if they continued to withhold their tithes through the winter, Kharasi would suffer.

It could not. Dragons and riders must be healthy to fly against Thread. Zenna's lovely jaw clenched as she moved on down the line of tables. How could her own family not see how vital they were to the survival of Pern? How could they care only for themselves, their greed, their gluttony?

Movement caught the corner of her eye before she could pursue this thought much further. A pair of dragonriders, entering the Cavern, looking hungry. At once, Zenna's attitude softened. She recognized the woman, but the man was a stranger - so this could only be Aubria and K'jin, riders of the dragons who had mated the previous night. They had a tumbled, uncertain air, and everyone at breakfast had been talking about how Lamorath had been caught by the new brown.

Zenna kept out of their way, nodding to herself as the pair selected a table in a corner far from the others. She slipped into the kitchen and reemerged with a pot of klah, two mugs, and a loaf of bread and jar of marshberry jam. She smiled at both of them, letting her gaze slip easily away lest they think she was intruding, and lay the tray between them. "Take your time," she told them in her musical voice. "The others've all eaten, but there's no sign yet of drills this morning."

And she moved away, not giving them time to include her in their conversation, which was bound to be awkward enough.

When Aubria stepped into the dining cavern, she was overcome with a flood of gratefulness that she and K'jin had risen after the usual breakfast and lunch rushes. She had forgotten that, of course, the entire Weyr knew that Lamorath had risen and that Sevofth had caught her... and of course everyone knew which riders matched which dragons, even K'jin, and he had only just arrived. She was mortified by the thought of entering the dining cavern as they did now, but if it had been filled with curious and gossipping dragonriders, and Aubria with the telltale red in her eyes that told them all they needed to know about how the morning after had transpired. No, this breakfast was one that Aubria wanted kept between her and K'jin.

When Zenna approached with food, Aubria's stomach dropped; surely the woman would make some remark, give a small wink that would bring everything crashing down again... but Zenna did no such thing, and Aubria blushed for even thinking that she might have. "Thank you," she called softly after Zenna's retreating back, then filled hers and K'jin's mugs with klah. She hadn't met his eyes since they'd left her weyr, and she continued to avert her gaze as she tore off a hunk of bread and began to spread it with jam.

Her attempts at socializing had come back to bite her, so Aubria felt herself slowly slipping into that lonely attitude which had dominated her actions for Turns on end. Don't look up and you won't have to talk, something within her said, but she felt her lips moving anyway.

"What was your name before you Impressed?" she was asking before she knew what she was saying. Well... that wasn't so bad, was it? She really did want to know, and at least it hadn't been "Do you come here often?". Slowly, half terrified but unable to resist, she raised her eyes to look into his, wondering what she would find there.

Faranth's egg, she really was lovely. But when Aubria lifted her head to look at him, K'jin plainly read the fear and doubt, the almost desperate need for approval. That wouldn't do. He kept still despite his discomfort, and answered plainly enough, "It was Kojin. I was a journeyman Smith at Deep Caverns, well on the path to being a Master, when ... well. Doesn't matter; it's over and done now and here I am." He shook his head briefly: once, twice. And because he could hardly tell Aubria outright to shake herself up some pride, he asked her a question instead. "What about you? Weyrbred? What's your story, pretty green?"

He took a sip of klah and reached for the tray, smearing some jam onto a thick slice of bread. He hadn't been this hungry since he could remember; not even after Threadfall. The flight had been good. He found himself relaxing as he waited for Aubria's reply, and hoped she'd find her own middle ground, too. With a suddenness that made him grin, he realized that self-doubt or no, she was far better company than the two greenriders he'd spent most of the previous day with. Life wasn't so bad.

"Kojin..." Aubria murmured, smiling softly at him. The semi-familiarity of everyday talk was making her, fraction by fraction, more comfortable. As K'jin spoke, Aubria ate about half her bread, then replied, "Holdbred--Ebony Hills Hold. My parents are Weavers there." She had easily noted the abruptness with which he had stopped his story, because she'd had to do much the same when she told her own tale. It wasn't very often that she did so nowadays, but when she had been in the habit of having conversations Turns ago it was a topic that came up often.

But an after-flight breakfast was not the time for a discussion of Aubria's feelings on her parents, so she simply said, "My brother Th'el was the first to be Searched, then me, then A'breeq. I Impressed Lamorath when I was seventeen.

"What about you and Sevofth? Did you Impress him at Tiazora?"