Paramedics brought in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the Lazy-Boy.

The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 12-foot boat!

You received a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail.

On Friday you set off 3 earthquake seismographs during your morning jog.

Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.

That rash on your stomach is a steering wheel burn.

Your arms are too short to reach the radio dial to switch the station.