WHAT A GUY REALLY MEANS WHEN HE SAYS:


"It's a guy thing." Really means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear." Really means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"It would take too long to explain." Really means: "I have no idea how it works."

"I'm getting more exercise lately." Really means: "The batteries in the remote are dead."

"We're going to be late." Really means: "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard." Really means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear." Really means: "Are you still talking?"

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love." Really means: "I forgot our anniversary again."

"I do help around the house." Really means: "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."

"I can't find it." Really means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"What did I do this time?" Really means: "What did you catch me doing?"

"You look terrific." Really means: "For heaven’s sake, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

"I missed you." Really means: "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."